Brainstorming

I have had quite a few interests in joining me on my weight loss journey... i have been brainstorming ideas on ways that will motivate me to lose weight. in the past, i always had a goal. one year, it was the Broad Street run. another year, it was my wedding day. and another year, it was my brother's wedding. i have nothing "big" to motivate me this year, so i had to come up with a plan. tim and i brainstormed ideas at each 5 pound benchmark.

let me explain our plan... we came up with an ultimate weight loss goal and then came up with something big we both want... and then for every five pounds we lose getting to that point, we will be rewarded with something not food related.

5 pounds- a yankee candle
10 pounds- eye brows waxed
15 pounds- purchase a favorite item at ULTA
20 pounds- a manicure
25 pounds- a pedicure
30 pounds- a new outfit
35 pounds- a night away with Tim at a hotel
40 pounds- a new outfit
45 pounds- a full body massage
50 pounds- a weekend away with Tim

i would like to lose fifty pounds... ugh. that feels like a ton. but this journey will go until the end of June. yep. you heard right, this is not 8 weeks. or 12 weeks. this is 6 months. i will be blogging daily to keep everyone up to date on the progress of this journey.

if you are interested in joining with me, brainstorm some things that you would like to work towards. i was lucky to get some gift cards to put towards some of those things on the list so it shouldn't cost too much money for everything. maybe you want a book, or a night out at the movies, or how about a song to download on itunes or a video game.

i am still trying to figure out the best way to start losing weight... i have done slim fast, weight watchers, and just counting calories in the past... i am sure i will be picking one of those methods but still not set on one yet. i will let everyone know my plan before the new year. good luck with your brainstorming and have a wonderful sunday!

(I caught him playing with the wipes and this is the face i got!)

landon's christmas story

christmas and babies go together like oreos and milk. it is a perfect mix. christmas has always been my favorite holiday... but throw in a six month old and it becomes even more magical. we had a wonderful christmas weekend celebrating with family. i always get the post christmas blues when everything is all over but this year i can cuddle and squeeze a baby to recover!

christmas eve was spent with my brother and his wife and all her family... our little babies (they have twin boys!) played with new toys but had more fun grabbing at each others' faces and pulling on clothes. we had a nice sit down dinner and you can just feel the christmas excitement in the air. 

landon was super excited for santa to arrive and woke up bright and early on christmas morning. tim made us hot chocolate and we gathered around the tree to begin opening presents. landon, of course, enjoyed the wrapping paper but his all time favorite gift was his soft Elmo book! 

we ended the day with a delicious dinner at my parents' house which included crab cakes and roast beef tenderloin. we all went to bed early that night and were looking forward to getting back on a somewhat schedule the next day.

stay tuned for my typical new years resolution. the resolution i do EVERY year (well except for the year i was pregnant.) i am focused and ready. it is time to try to lose twenty pounds (or more) for the ninth time. who wants to join me on my journey? my aunt and tim are already on board!! 

hope your family had a wonderful christmas and enjoyed the christmas cheer!

Landon's Hearing Journey

I thought I would try to organize blog post entries to follow our hearing journey. i want to look back at our miracle and NEVER forget it. i am so happy that i blogged and documented as much as i did during this time...

Can you hear me now?!

Unanswered Questions

Audiologist Phone Call

First ENT appointment

Are you listening?!

Second ENT appointment

Tubes

Third ENT appointment

Our Christmas Miracle

a christmas miracle.

i don't even know where to begin. it has been a very emotional day... but a GOOD emotional day.

i have been praying for landon's ears since july. i have been praying for God to open up those ears. for God to bless those little ears. last night, i prayed a little differently. i prayed, of course, for God to bless his little ears... but i also prayed for me to accept whatever news we received and to give me guidance on how to handle his hearing loss...

landon went to his appointment this morning with me, tim and my mom in tow. we were the same three that were with him when we found out in july about landon's hearing loss. he had an appointment with the same audiologist who assessed him in july. she clearly explained that the test he was going to be given would determine if he had normal hearing in each ear... and if he didn't pass, we would have to sedate him and give him another hearing test and to really determine the loss.

my eyes welled with tears as the audiologist placed the ear bud in his left ear. about two minutes later, she said "that ear hears beautiful." BEAUTIFUL!!! my mom and i lost it a little and i was so thankful that he has beautiful hearing in one ear... people can hear fine with one ear!

then, she confirmed what dr. j said about the right ear. no amount of fluid would show the severity that we see in landon's right ear results... so prepared and expecting the worst, she put the ear bud in his right ear and tears streamed down my face. after about two minutes she said, "the right ear hears great too!" she was completely boggled by the drastic change of results. she was as shocked as we were. she had no explanation for the change.

we will continue following up with hearing tests every three months to make sure those ears are doing their jobs.

thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. i knew of so many of you who were praying for him daily and putting him in prayer chains. we are blessed... we got to experience a christmas miracle.

i sang landon to sleep tonight and for the first time i KNEW he was hearing me.

God bless and Merry Christmas from the Odgers'!

it has been a while...

i have had many people wonder when i was going to get blogging again. i apologize for not keeping everyone up to date with Landon. he is doing REALLY good and Tim and I are just adoring him. we simply can't get enough of his precious face.

landon has hit some big milestones over the past few months. he now eats solids, rolls over and sits like a champ. his favorite thing to do is sit. he will sit and play with a toy for sometimes thirty minutes. over the past couple of months, he has also developed a nice schedule. i LOVE a schedule. it must be a teacher thing.

he is still wearing his helmet. he will probably be wearing it for at least four more months since his head was so severe. his noggin is look better and he is looking good with the helmet. i have enjoyed blinging it every month. i just changed it up for the holidays...he is now ready for santa!

torticollis is coming along. it is a long process that i am just learning to accept and work with. his tilt is looking good and he is able rotate his neck more to the left every week. his physical therapist is EXCELLENT and she has been showing me lots of exercises and stretches to do with him at home.

and finally, an ear update. landon's ears were checked by dr. j today and they are all clear and ready to go for his next hearing test... which happens to be tomorrow.  we haven't had a hearing test done since he was six weeks old and that is when we were given the devastating news that our little baby has severe hearing loss and both ears were abnormal... so needless to say i am a little nervous. but tim and i are ready to accept any news we are given and keep moving forward with landon. we will do anything to help him succeed in this world.

i hope to get an update on the hearing results by christmas. thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. we are lucky to have wonderful family and friends like you!

oh my...

time is flying by... here is updated picture of my little guy and his new helmet... will blog soon to catch everyone up on our little life.

happy thanksgiving!! :)

the night before...

after what seems like the loopiest roller coaster i have ever been on, things are all set and we are scheduled for Landon's tube surgery for tomorrow at 6 in the morning...i am a little apprehensive. i am a little excited. i am a little scared. i am praying that his hearing loss will improve with this surgery. i am praying that we bring him home tomorrow afternoon and he responds to noises he has never responded to before. i am praying that the surgery goes wonderful... i believe in miracles.

we had a helmet check up today and his little noggin has improved! we were measured for a new helmet which should be coming in early next week. it is MUCH different than the one he has on now... it will be big and blue... but don't you worry... i will be blinging it! we were told he would have to wear this new helmet for the same amount of time (23 hours a day) for three more months... i know it will go fast... i still can't believe that he has been wearing a helmet for almost two months already!

(September 11, 2012)

 (November 5, 2012)

(September 20, 2012)

 

(November 1, 2012) 

his torticollis is coming along... i think of all his little things he is dealing with... this one bothers me the most. i know it is such a long process and i just want it fixed. i want him to turn his head all the time to the left. i want him to never tilt his head to the left. as he is getting older, he is becoming more resistant to stretching the muscle... makes sense... stretching a tight muscle could being irritating... who could blame him?  but it could be years before we see this progress. i will be patient... no matter how overwhelmed i get.

i am sure i will update again soon on the surgery and his hearing. after the surgery, we will reassess his hearing and possibly start looking at options to get him to hear better, if need be. thank you for all the prayers tomorrow morning! we will take them all!

we need some prayers...

landon's surgery is scheduled for tuesday... but we have hit a bump in the road dealing with insurance companies and blood work. my insurance company only covers blood work done at QUEST Diagnostics which meant they had to fax the results over to chop.

blood work was done early on friday. i received a phone call from chop yesterday explaining they did not get the results yet. the kind nurse told me if she did not get the results by today that they would cancel the surgery. i called quest yesterday and the woman on the phone told me that they MAILED the results and i politely asked if she would fax the results to our nurse.

i wanted to follow up on all this blood results drama and i called chop today to make sure they had received his results. they have not. i had to call QUEST back today and ask them again to fax the results... and as she was looking at his results told me that the woman who drew his blood last friday did not get enough so they couldn't get the results. why did i not get this information? and why was this information not faxed to chop? ... almost a WHOLE week later!!

tears are streaming down my face mostly because i am so angry. i am waiting for a phone call back from the nurse to see what to do next. i am hoping to just get the blood work done at chop and pay full price. i would have paid full price anyway if i would have known that QUEST does a HORRIBLE job at drawing blood on babies.

please pray that we are able to get his blood work drawn somewhere today and surgery goes according to planned next tuesday. i just want those little ears to be fluid free so we can begin the process with his hearing loss.

to the moon.

my little astronaut... i think he is deciding whether or not he wants to go to the moon by the look on his face...

He decided to go as long as his favorite witch in the world goes with him!!

coming back soon... been SWAMPED with landon things and grad school!

freeze time.

i have been enjoying EVERY second with landon. he is so happy and very pleasant. he hardly cries. and since eight weeks has been sleeping between eleven to thirteen hours through the night without a single wake up for a feeding (i know that can stop at any point especially since i officially blogged about it and i may have jinxed myself)... at first i thought two months is the best time. but then he hit three months. and then i thought three months is the BEST time. but then he hit four months... OH MY! the laughing. the smiling. the cooing. and today, for the first time, he reached for me. i will admit it... i teared up watching that smile and outreached arms!

as happy and content as this little guy is, it is hard to believe everything he is going through and will be going through. he had an adjustment on his helmet today... his noggin is looking good so we are hoping to be in that second helmet sooner than planned! i can't believe he has been wearing it for a month now!  he wears it everywhere! we get a lot of stares... and little kids ask about it the most...at the mall today,  i had one little girl ask me what was on his head... i told her he had to wear a helmet so he can have a good looking head like hers... she seemed to understand and went on with her mom. tim likes hiding it under a hat. i prefer to just show it. i think him wearing a summer hat over his helmet looks kind of ridiculous. ha! i just keep thinking... this will all pay off at the end!

and finally landon was scheduled for surgery on december 11th... turns out, where he was having it done (a CHOP branch in Chalfont) wanted him to go to the city for the tubes. the anesthesiologist was concerned with the torticollis and plagiocephaly (helmet) and wanted to make sure there was a place we could incubate him (exact words!) in case any problems occurred. we moved the date up to November 6th... two weeks!! i am feeling a little nervous now especially since they changed our original plan. landon will be exactly five months when he gets tubes.

so i think i updated everyone on our little guy. he is such a blessing and as much as i want to freeze time at four months... i really wish i could get a quick glimpse ahead to make sure everything with him will turn out fine.

ENT update.

i meant to write this post sooner... but i was away all day yesterday and today with appointments for my little guy. we went to CHOP on thursday morning for a check up on the fluid in his ears. landon greeted Dr. J with a big smile as he walked in the door... however, that smile went away instantly when the doctor dug in those little ears with a couple tools to check them out. 

the results show that there is still a good amount of fluid in his ears. we discussed that it is important to get these ears cleared so we can reassess his hearing. we both agreed that language is going to be playing a big role in development soon. he will be doing surgery to remove the fluid and put tubes in when Landon is six months. so our date is set... December 11th... my little guy will be getting his first surgery. good news is thousands of babies get tubes every year... and the surgery only takes ten minutes! 

Dr. J said that we may see a difference in his hearing once the fluid is cleared. he told me a story about a four year old boy who got tubes and freaked out when he heard the sound of his own pee hitting the toilet. 

He also told me he took a good look at the audiology report. he explained that the left ear has moderate to normal hearing...(which is way better than what we were originally told)  and the right ear is moderate to severe. he doesn't seem worried about the left ear, but he did say he was concerned about the severity of loss in the right ear. so i keep praying and praying. i pray that fluid is the only thing causing this hearing loss. and that tubes will fix our whole problem. 

and as my sister-in-law says as she covers up one ear, "you don't need two ears to hear, I can hear fine with one." even if we have good hearing in one ear, i will be happy and feel very blessed... especially because of the report we got back in July.

and i'll leave you with a picture of my little guy.... i BLINGED his helmet!! 

are you listening?

three months ago, we were given the devastating news that landon has severe hearing loss. we were told both his ears were abnormal, but aidable. i was shocked. tim was shocked. our baby passed his right hearing test TWICE at the hospital... not once, but TWICE. and now the right ear has severe hearing loss? what happened to his hearing in six weeks?

two months ago, we went to the ear, nose, and throat doctor. he said there was fluid. but the fluid was not enough to cause the hearing loss we are seeing. he said we needed to wait for the fluid to drain so we can reassess his hearing and get a more accurate reading of his loss. he wanted to see us back again at 4 months... and that time is already now... we go on thursday to check the fluid in his ears. if there is still fluid... we are heading down the tube route...

every night before landon goes to bed... tim and i each bless his little ears. we pray that God will miraculously cure those ears and open them right up. we don't want to get our hopes up too high, but we think he is hearing better than we originally thought he did... he is startled and crying at loud noises. he turns his head when we shake a toy on his right or left side. he opens his eyes when we say his name during a bottle. he is cooing and talking constantly at different pitches. and i SWEAR he woke up from his nap this morning to the cat meowing her way up the steps...if we didn't get that hearing test done at six weeks, i would never even think he had any hearing loss... so we keep praying. we pray for those ears. for his torticollis. and now for his little noggin. he really had a rough start in this world... but he is such a happy, easy baby... you would never know it!

the day my baby stopped napping...

i am blessed. very, very blessed. you see, landon is  an amazing sleeper. (hence the severe flat spot on the right side of his head)...

tim and i decided when i was pregnant that landon would begin sleeping in his own crib in his own room the day we brought him home. maybe we are selfish... but we wanted our bedroom to stay our bedroom and not have a baby join us. i remember the first week of him being home was a bit of a transition... he was in my nice cozy belly and now he was put in this big crib... but we swaddled. and swaddled. and swaddled... and in no time, he was use to his room and crib.

tim and i also agreed to not get in the habit of having landon sleep on us. that was a very HARD decision. he was so precious with those adorable eyes closed, little lips, and soft breathing. but we would squeeze, kiss, and put him down in his pack and play or crib... some times putting him down asleep were easier than other times during the first month... but now he has no trouble being put down after falling asleep. or even put down awake.

he is a phenomenal napper but... something has happened to nap time. he has hit four months. he has decided that the world is much more fun than going to sleep. he wants to hang out in his exersaucer. he wants to play in his gym. he wants to lay on his blanket and watch the ceiling fan. his little eyes can be struggling to stay open and he is determined to find something to focus on to keep them open. and when he finally does fall asleep... the little guy is up a half an hour later. little stinker. he is such a nosey little bug and doesn't want to miss anything.

so i continue staying strong. i put him down when he shows signs of being tired. sometimes it takes 2 minutes... sometimes over an hour... but i am determined to get him down for naps so he can be rested and enjoy the day.  he needs his sleep... he goes from being my little happy june bug to a miserable bear if he misses a nap.

did your little one stop napping easily at a certain age?

still here...

oh my! i promise to get a post up soon... i have been busy making up graduate school work since i took a week vacation...ugh. double the work... i will hint that i have gained a few pounds since september, 21st... i'll update everyone on monday... until then. enjoy this happy, loving baby. i seriously can't get enough of him. i am so blessed.

vacation.

this time tomorrow...i'll be on the road... it is my turn to go on vacation!! i have never been on vacation in September... but i am super excited to do so! i am expecting it to be less crowded since many families have kiddos back in school...we are just heading to the jersey shore but it is the idea of getting away from these four walls that make it exciting. i need a vacation. bad.

i decided to weigh myself today since i will not be around for the weigh in on monday... and the number is 184.8. that puts me at almost a ten pound loss since i started on September 4th!

but we all know what happens on vacations... ugh. i do plan on eating my favorite food on saturday night (chicken wings!!). and then hoping to eat in moderation throughout the rest of the week. i am also packing my sneakers and walking my baby every day... maybe twice a day!

(hanging out while mom gets ready for VACA!!)

hoping to get a couple blog posts going while at the beach... i can't wait to get my toes in the sand, hold my baby in my arms, and relax listening to the ocean.

any suggestions on how to keep it together on vacation and not fall completely off the wagon?

to infinity and beyond...

last night we picked up Landon't helmet... he was a trooper through the whole process since it was WAY past his bedtime when we arrived. we were told not to start the helmet until this morning... so at nine o'clock this morning... i put on his helmet.

last night i cried on the ride home. i tried to stay strong at the helmet facility but once we hit the road, the tears streamed. they streamed because i was sad to think that my little guy will be in a helmet 23 hours a day for the next four-six months. that means most of his little baby life. most pictures taken of him will be in a helmet.

i know i am blessed beyond belief with the issues that we have... everything so far we have learned is fixable...(although not sure about the hearing)  but it is still stressful and frustrating. however, i am also very blessed with a happy, smiley baby. he has not a care in the world about this helmet being on his head. he has gone about his day the way he usually does. my little love bug...

(our little Buzz Lightyear)

so here is hoping for a nice looking noggin' at the end of the helmet road.

minus two.

weighed in this morning...186.2... that puts me down two pounds... i'll take it! i ate healthy most of the week... however, the weekend... now that is a complete different story. tim and i attended a wedding and let's just say... i ate! the appetizers were out of this world. and at the end of the night... i left with a bag of candy... which i ate on sunday morning... for BREAKFAST!

i may have to cut back on the shred. ever since i delivered landon, my knees have ached. well fast forward three months, and now my knees are in pain from the minute i wake up to the second i go to bed... the only thing that makes the ache less is ADVIL. i am still walking a lot but depending on how my knees feel tomorrow will determine if it is a go ahead on Day 9 of the Shred.

one thing i really want to start toning and focusing on are my arms. they are disgusting. tim and i took many pictures on saturday and i HATED every one of them because of my arms. finally, we took one and i had tim try to hide my arms... and i kind of tucked them behind him... and our picture turned out looking more like we were "buds" than husband and wife. all because of fat arms.

speaking of fat arms... hoping that lifting this chunker every day will thin them out a little bit... he is starting to enjoy his exer-saucer! and it is so fun watching him!

every three hours

i have been very aware of the amount of calories i have been consuming over the past week... i also made the decision to eat on a schedule. i have decided to eat every three hours. i eat breakfast at 7. and three hours later, i eat a snack. i eat lunch at 12. and three hours later, i eat a snack. i eat another snack around 5:30 since my husband and i eat dinner around 8:00 every night.

this eating schedule has worked for me ONLY because i am home. if i was teaching, there would be no chance for me have an eating schedule. not to mention, i would be exposed to the cafeteria and pizza bites. and hot dogs. and hamburgers. and cheese steaks. and chocolate milk.

i have been mixing up my snack choices every day between chobani yogurt, granola bars, crackers, and carrots with hummus. i plan on buying a new and different snack every time i go to the grocery store so i don't get bored. i also treat myself to a latte lite at dunkin' donuts a few times a week for 90 calories.

completed Day 7 of The Shred today... almost a third of the way finished! it is SO HARD. during the workout i feel the burn the ENTIRE time and i want to quit the ENTIRE time. after i am finished, my body is sweating up a storm, i am usually running for water but i am happy i did another day. working out is so mental... especially when every inch of your body is hurting.

i like The Shred because it is in the comfort of my own home. i am not ready to run outside in front of people yet. i am not ready to head to a gym and workout in front of people yet. i  just don't feel comfortable in my skin yet. so, The Shred it is until i get to that point...

do you feel uncomfortable working out in front of people?

perfect time.

since i have been staying home... my mind usually travels all over the place. for example, today, i was walking landon around our block (okay, maybe up and down a hill since i don't live on a block) and i thought "September is the perfect time to have a baby." i am in NO way planning a second baby but i have friends who either delivered in the past couple weeks or are due super soon. i always thought the perfect time was may/june since the summer is the best time to take babies for walks and just take them out and about. landon was a pleasant surprise for tim and i and i remember thinking as i frantically tried to figure out my due date... "yes, MAY!!" but when you deliver in May and what i didn't know is... you have to deal with a baby in the heat. going for walks just don't happen. it is too hot. car rides are rough. the car is wicked hot.

september is perfect. the weather is perfect to get that newborn out and about. and the temperature is perfect. by the time december comes... your little one is old enough to not stress as much about the temperature. so for all you september mommies... enjoy this cool weather with your new little ones!

i completed Day 6 of the Shred this morning. it is definitely becoming much easier and i am hoping that by Day 10 i am ready to move to Level 2. Tim made me an awesome tuna salad last night... it was very simple and fast...he added a delicious homemade mustard dressing to it and helped it taste out of this world! 

life with landon is slowing down a little bit. however, we met with the helmet lady yesterday... he will be getting a helmet next week to keep on his head all day long. she told me his head shape is very severe because of the torticollis and looks like we will be going through two helmets. 

possible good news is that the shift in his head could be narrowing the ear canal... and therefore causing hearing loss. praying that this is the case for landon and once we start straightening his little noggin he will hear better. but again... not getting our hopes up too much. please keep those prayers coming... still hoping and praying for a miracle! :)

Three months...

Hard to believe his stats were 8 pounds 14 ounces and 19.5 inches on June 6th because he is just growing in the blink of an eye...

June 6th

8 pounds 14 ounces

19.5 inches

 (1 Month- July 6th)

10 pounds 8 ounces

22 inches

 (2 months-August 6th)

13 pounds 9 ounces

24.5 inches

(3 months-September 6th)

14 pounds 14 ounces

25.5 inches

Under the boardwalk...

had my weigh-in this morning... and after a week of doing Jillian and counting calories... i lost 5.6 pounds. the scale said 188.6 this morning. i was happy to see this number and get out of the 190s. 

i have decided to take this weight loss journey down a different path than i usually take it. i usually am super strict and determined to lose as FAST as i can. not this time. this time, i have accepted the fact that it took me nine months to pack it on... so i am giving myself nine months to get it off. 

did i stick perfectly to my 1400 calories? no. i had a wonderful weekend away with friends at the shore and the last thing i wanted to do was count calories as i ate my gyro on the boardwalk. did i do jillian every day this week? no. i took a break over the weekend. it would look silly doing lunges with a bicep  curl with friends watching so i just walked the boardwalk. 

(Landon's first trip on the boardwalk)

(Playing with Tucker at the beach house)

for now, i plan on counting calories and exercising on a normal day schedule. however, when special things occur, i will enjoy. otherwise... this weight loss will be MISERABLE. i have six months. six WHOLE months. that gives me until march 6th... pre-pregnancy weight by March 6th. so doable. so not stressful. 

completed Day 5 of The Shred today... my body doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did last week and i am able to hang with jillian better than Day 1, that's for sure. and tim made a delicious wheat pasta with broccoli and tomato... totally hit the spot. 

so even though i enjoyed eating this weekend, i still was able to get focused again this week. hoping for another loss next week. even if it is just a pound!

Next weigh-in: Monday, September 17th

My body hurts... and a giraffe.

my body has been hurting. a lot. right now i can totally blame it on Jillian Michaels. but the thing is, my body has been hurting since i delivered landon. by the end of the day, i would have aches and pains throughout my body. my legs hurt. my back hurt. and my knees really hurt. i remember telling my mom this about a month ago... and her explanation for my body aches was..."you are heavier than you have ever been before." meaning that my body was not use to carrying all this extra body weight and by the end of the day, it was tired and sore.

totally made sense to me... but i didn't want to hear it. i just had a baby, who had a lot of needs. and the last thing i wanted to hear was my body was heavy. however, it stayed in my mind every night when my whole body was sore from running up and down stairs, picking up landon (in the RIDICULOUS heavy carrier) and playing on the floor all day.

speaking of playing on the floor with landon... i kept hearing all about this teether called Sophie la Girafe. i guess it is a teether made in france. when i first heard about it, there was NO way i was getting it... it was $25.00!! who in their right mind would spend that kind of money on a silly teether... me. i did it. but only after watching this adorable video on it!!

so far, so good. he seemed to enjoy it. although i am literally putting it in his hand every waking hour of  the day. for twenty-five bucks, he better enjoy it. :)

butt kicks... kicked my butt.

i have taken a few steps to get ready for this healthy transition in my life. tim and i went through our fridge and trashed anything we thought might throw me off track... good bye vanilla icing. we went through our pantry... good bye potato chips. and finally did a clear out of the kitchen... good bye brownies sitting on our counter since friday. 

we did a big grocery shop on monday... and stuck to healthy snacks and meals. welcome to our home carrots, bananas, wheat pasta, ground turkey, broccoli, tomatoes, and cheerios. 

day one of purging junk food out of our home and eating healthy was successful. i am going to stick with how i lost weight in the past... counting calories using my LOSE IT app on my iphone and doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred.

this morning i couldn't move. my abs hurt. my butt hurt. even my armpits hurt. i was miserable doing day 1 yesterday and cursed at myself (and jillian) for the pain i felt during the 25 minute workout. i have learned that doing butt kicks at 160 is way easier than 190. i have to hold my belly as i move up and down. yes, you read right... when i run, my stomach moves in ways i have never seen or felt before. it feels weird. uncomfortable even. so when i have to move up and down, one hand always tries to hold the stomach in place. it truly is a scene to see me in action. however, it totally motivates me to focus and finish each session. 

i will do weekly weigh-ins every monday...just like in the past! mondays work well for me because it helps me "be good" over the weekend knowing i step on the scale on monday morning. 

you can follow those weekly updates by clicking on "my journey" page at the top of my website. 

today is the day..

today is the day...

today is the day i start counting calories- 1,400 a day.
today is the day i start exercising- just finished day 1 of the 30 day shred.
today is the day i have decided to share how much weight i gained during my pregnancy- alot.

i have been embarrassed to share how much i gained because like i said in an earlier post... it is WAY more than the average pregnant woman is supposed to gain... (25-35 pounds) i have only shared my weight gain with one other person and her blog... it felt good to get it out there and know it was in a "safe" place. but now it is time to bring it out. my mom will be shocked. she swears i gained maybe 30. she thought i looked good throughout most of pregnancy... but she is my mom. and she is supposed to say that.

here it is. on the day i delivered landon... i tipped the scales at 215. you read it right. 215 pounds. i weighed ten more pounds than tim at that point. see what mint chocolate chip ice cream every night before bed does to a pregnant body?

that means i gained between 55-60 pounds during my pregnancy. throughout my whole pregnancy my mom would constantly say "i only gained 12 pounds during my first pregnancy." it always got on my nerves because i remember when i gained twelve pounds in one month during my pregnancy. my doctor never seemed to be concerned about my weight gain. i guess i carried it well being 5 feet 7 inches tall. although she did think i was having a "BIG" baby.

i lost thirty pounds pretty quickly... dropped to 182 by the July 19th... however, with the stress of all our problems with landon.... and the idea of me having cancer... i just stopped caring. i remember thinking on july 24th... "if i have cancer, i better beef up... treatments and the disease could make me lose a ton of weight and be even sicker." yes. this was my thought process... and this thought made me gain 12 pounds back in six weeks.

so my number is 194. i weigh 194 pounds. i am petrified to hit that 200 mark again and need to start getting far away from it. i took some "before" pictures of myself but i am going to wait to post them until i am done the 30 day shred... hoping to see some kind of progress because those pictures are horrendous.

but until those pictures... here is our first family shot taken last weekend!

and he is laughing...

landon got a HUGE kick out of me clapping my hands at him... this has been the one and only time he has laughed... but i absolutely loved it. as you can hear in the video.

a relief.

i mentioned in the last blog post that i had some health concerns/issues to attend to before i wanted to start losing this baby weight... and after today... i can finally say... i am 100% healthy.

 (Landon is celebrating!! )

for those of you new to the blog, back when i was twenty weeks pregnant, doctors found i had an enlarged spleen.. (click here to read about that drama) oodles of blood was drawn and doctors concluded it was enlarged due to having mono in the past and just being pregnant. the decision was made to ultrasound my insides again six week post partum. well. i had my abdomen/pelvic ultrasound on july 24th...i passed according to my OB... but the surgeon who was attending me said i failed (my spleen was still enlarged) and needed to move to the next step. oncology and hematology.  those words frightened me to death.

i had an appointment on august 14th. my doctor was nice... but basically wanted to test me for EVERYTHING under the sun out there... from blood work, to CAT scan, even my bone marrow...he explained that the spleen is a BIG lymph node. and he was concerned about whether or not i may have a cancer related to it. talk about stress, anxiety and nerves. here i am dealing with a hearing impaired, torticollis, reflux and broken clavicle infant and he threw the word cancer at me.

off i went for blood work on the 16th of august. 13 vials of blood. and for the first time, i just about passed out. they had to tilt me back and give me a wash cloth. miserable. on the 21st of august, i had to do a complete cat scan of my insides... i had to drink this 32 ounces of this AWFUL barium. and then they stuck an IV in my arm to light up my veins.

and after months, weeks, days and hours of testing. i don't have cancer. in fact, all my blood results came back wonderful. even my iron came back great! (which was low on August 14th) !! and the CAT scan results show my spleen size being a perfectly normal size! i cried the minute the doctor told me and the nice man gave me a big hug.

so now i am ready to hit the ground running. september 4th. healthy eats and exercise. but until then... tim and i are going to celebrate with a martini... i mean... i feel like i am starting fresh... like a new year... why not make it a birthday cake martini!

new school year resolutions

in the past, i would blog almost every day. it was a way to reflect on my day and my eating patterns. i always had a story to share about something that went on in my life. once, i found out i was pregnant last september, i just stopped. i stopped mostly because i was obsessed with being newly pregnant and that was ALL that was on my brain and I wasn't ready to share it with the world yet.

last night, tim and i looked through my blog... we love looking at the most recent posts with Landon and how much he has grown in just two and a half months!!

i hope to start getting on a normal eating/exercising schedule on Tuesday, September 4th. the reason i am waiting until then is for a couple of reasons... first reason. labor day picnics will be all over. second reason. summer picnics in general will be over. third reason. i haven't shared much yet, but will do soon, but i have been going through some health issues and hoping everything will be okay by then.

so even though i am taking a year off from teaching, i am still going to make a couple new school year resolutions.

1. start taking care of this post pregnancy body.
2. try to blog every day.

i want to blog more so i have a little history of my little guy growing up. it goes SO fast and i want to try to capture as much as i can.

speaking of capture... we now have a roller. i thought it was a fluke but he totally did it four times in one day. and then did it the next day too!!

what not to wear.

i have hit a wall on the weight loss. one of the big reasons is because i just love to eat right now. i love food. a lot. i have fluctuated up and down within five pounds for about six weeks. and i am realizing i need to make a decision.

i should either start busting my butt to fit back in my old size 8 clothes...or accept where i am right now and start buying a new wardrobe. i mean, don't get me wrong, i love maternity clothes but i know there will be a time that i will need to put them to rest.

for now, i will accept where i am...i need to head to the store and buy some new outfits that fit this new body. i am hoping not to be this weight forever but i need to start treating this new body different. i need to try to make it look as good i can get it. i know it will take me a while to lose this weight... that's just my body and my metabolism... so i might as well embrace it until i do.

LANDON UPDATE:

No news on his hearing... we are still not sure how much he can hear... but we are hoping he hears more than we think he does. his next appointment with the Ears, Nose and Throat doctor is on October 11th...

We head to CHOP for a followup on his broken clavicle on Monday... and while we are there, the Physical Therapist referred us to get a little helmet for our little guy's head. i am sure we will have to go through some testing to see if he qualifies but we might as well keep on top of it all.

He is now able to turn his head to the left around 60-70 degrees.  i asked the PT last week how long we will be dealing with this torticollis... she said he has a very severe case of it, and she is thinking by the time he is five months.

his reflux is doing much better too! he has been such a happy baby since we started the medicine!

oh and our little chunker weighs in at 13.9 pounds (81st percentile) and 24.5 inches (89th percentile)... he is getting so big... and really LONG! 

he is loving his gym, books and starring at the television... he also enjoys tummy time!! 

nine hour stretch.

before i update the information from the doctors visit today... i wanted to share a big milestone... Landon slept 9 HOURS straight last night. he went down for his usual bedtime of 8... and i of course woke up at 2 ready to feed him... but he slept. i woke up at 3 ready to feed him... but he slept. i woke up at 4 ready to feed him... but he slept. i finally heard him cry for a feeding around 5 and was so shocked that i woke tim up to share the news!

luckily we were all rested for the doctors appointment. the doctor looked in his little ears...which landon HATED! he face turned as red as an apple. he was so angry! turns out, our little guy has a good amount of fluid in his ears. this fluid is hindering his hearing but the doctor told us that it is not to the point that we are seeing in the audiology test results... so we are not getting our hopes up too much. 

so what do we do now? we wait. and we wait. and we wait.  we wait two months to see if the fluid goes away. if it does, we reassess his hearing. if it doesn't... our little guy will be getting tubes and then we reassess his hearing.

it's a waiting game. in my mind, i want to get the little guy hearing aids and get those ears listening. but i am learning it is a process... and it looks like it may be a long one. i keep praying that God will open up those ears... that once the fluid dries up, he will be able to hear. 

and i will leave this post with a picture of landon. he is really getting interested in his toys... i LOVE seeing him grow and change every day!