Missing Simon?

i love american idol. i have been a fan since its first year. i loved the first three judges... Randy, Paula, and Simon.

i thought that i missed simon... until i realized something. the talent this year is amazing. more amazing then any year i have watched. the contestants seem to be more happy, less afraid and positive. simon really brought such a negative presence to the show and i never really noticed how it impacted the contestants. i can only imagine how it felt being told " you are horrid" or "that was the worst performance i have ever heard" I think i got so drawn into watching simon tear apart these people that it almost seemed natural... part of this world. like people should be torn apart to get better, to improve. but i don't think that is entirely true. i agree that sometimes receiving negative comments pushes me to do better and work harder... but i am realizing that positive comments, a compliment goes much farther... and i think that is what i see happening in these new contestants... they have confidence. they are given constructive criticism that is helping them grow as performers. as people.

way to go steven tyler. jlo. and randy. for showing me how important a compliment is and keeping positive... even when it comes to fighting a french fry.

afternoon snack nightmare.

yikes. it was a rough afternoon. i walked in the house STARVING! I started my afternoon snack with a few wheat thin sticks. well. from there i decided to heat up tim's chili cheese dip to eat with my cracker sticks.

from there i thought tostito chips would be fantastic to eat with the dip. and they were.

from there i needed something sweet and an oreo sounded fantastic. or how about two of them.

tim called and i told him the about the damage i did to the pantry.

i pretty much destroyed the whole night from there with dinner of chicken drumsticks, mash potatoes and a tomato, onion and avocado salad. oh and for dessert. dairy queen.

totally fell off the band wagon. i will be jumping back on first thing in the morning with cheerios for breakfast.

pb and raisin.

it was a sandwich day.
peanut butter and raisin for lunch...

and tuna fish for dinner...


can you guess which sandwich tim made?

up.

weigh in today. 148.0... up 1.4 pounds from last monday.

frustrated. yes. i totally ate what i wanted this weekend. not a lot of it. just ate what i wanted. and i gain weight. unbelievable.

trying not to let this gain get me down. usually when i gain weight, i give up. hoping to refocus and keep my head on 140.

Next weigh-in: Monday, April 4th.

lessons from a potato chip.

"bet you can't eat just one." remember that slogan. from lays potato chips. do they still have it? i am guessing, no. the way society is now, i bet people think it promotes obesity just like the slogan "super size me" from mcdonalds.

the other day i was sitting in my faculty meeting, and a very nice teacher friend told me that it is very hard for her to eat just one of something. she can't stop eating once she starts. and i am the same way!

i have known this about myself for years (the dorito chip basket)... and i put a plan in place to help me with this and i wanted to share.

zip lock baggies. they are a amazing. every night, i count out my snacks and zip them up in a baggie. i do this for lunch but also for my afternoon and evening snack. it takes maybe an extra four minutes of my night. when i come home from work, i take my snack bag off the table and start munching away. tim thinks i am wasting bags but i think this has been a very successful strategy to not sit there and eat a bag of crackers or chips. better to waste zip lock bags than waste a bag of snacks.

so i will definitely lose that bet on eating just one... but bet i can only eat just one serving.

just a cold one.

an iced latte lite with caramel. just because it is a friday.



Have a wonderful weekend!

a fake out.

i feel as though i have been totally faked out. i could of sworn that it was time for spring. time to get out and run in warm weather. time to walk trails and parks. i even bet a friend that it wasn't going to snow anymore. boy was i wrong. tim and i were suppose to run today but i refuse to get my new kicks wet in this miserable weather. so instead, i got in cozy pajamas at 4:30 and wrapped myself up in a blanket. i had not even an inkling of motivation to work out.

onto a happier note! i cooked tim dinner tonight! he was tired when he got home from work and i offered to cook one of my favorite dishes...he agreed! so after a minor injury from the can and having undertoasted toast... it all worked out.


the dinner was about 300 calories! tim was still starving after the meal, so he ended the night with a handful of cookies... i guess i better keep working on my cooking skills.:)

classic tv.

i have watched the same television shows for years. of course i am a HUGE american idol fan. i wanted to be the next american idol for the past ten years! i love to sing... hand me a microphone and i will sing any song you want to hear...

my other favorite shows i love to watch are weight losing shows. biggest loser, heavy, ruby, i used to be fat are just a few of my favorites. i love watching bodies transform and new lives begin. i love watching people's confidence sky rocket as they lose weight. i love when they embrace life and change their life styles.

these shows are so motivating to me. it amazes me the effort and passion they have to eat healthy and work out... to survive.

a drop.

weighed in today at 146.6... that is a 1.2 pound drop since last monday. for a total of 16.6 pounds since january 3rd. so happy to be drifting farther and farther away from 150.

Next weigh-in: March 28th

beans for breakfast?

this weekend was full of activities. i decided to start running and add some cardio into my routine. but before i hit the pavement, i really needed to buy a new pair of sneaks. tim and i went to a sporting goods store and picked up two new pairs! one for him and one for me!! tim is not much of a runner... in fact, he hardly does any kind of physical activity... so when he told me he wanted to run with me...i was first shocked. and then super excited!

after we bought the sneakers, we decided to take a walk through wegman's... which was right next door... i love that store... so much going on in there... i saw a man gutting a fish right before my eyes! i bypassed my way right to my favorite isle in the grocery store. the candy isle. there were BASKETS of easter candy! i smelled it, held it, and then walked away from it. but it was a beautiful sight.

and to conclude the weekend, we welcomed dan and amanda home from their honeymoon. we gathered at uncle maroun and aunt frances house to look at amazing wedding pictures and watch the dvd of their wedding day. they made us a DELICIOUS breakfast... and then we stayed long enough and they made an OUT OF THIS WORLD lunch! I ate "foul" around nine o' clock this morning. foul is a bean dish which i ate with cucumber and eggs for BREAKFAST!!

and i ended the day on a sweet note. i spoiled myself and had a piece of chocolate mousse cake which was so heavenly!

speaking of heavenly, weigh-in tomorrow. praying for a loss.

saturday mornings

about a month and a half ago i discovered a grapefruit. it's my new favorite fruit. they are a little expensive so i decided to only buy one grapefruit a week and eat it as my treat on saturday mornings.

i look forward to my coffee with 2 tablespoons of cream and 3 teaspoons of sugar (i love my coffee super sweet)and grapefruit with half of teaspoon of sugar sprinkled on top for a little less than 200 calories. it starts off my weekend on a healthy note and keeps my mind focused on staying healthy during the rest of the day.



the breakfast looks delicious... but the book "I Do, Now What?" is such a wonderful book written by Giuliana and Bill Rancic. I have been reading a chapter a night and sharing it with tim. it is wonderful for newlyweds but i bet it would benifit all married couples! So funny! and so relative! I plan on passing it to my new sister, Amanda, when I am finished reading it with tim.

enjoy the weekend!

BECAUSE IT'S FRIDAY!

something about a friday... it feels AMAZING. i worked really hard all week and i absolutely deserve these next two days off...

but i also feel that i deserve to eat more. like i have earned the right to stuff my face with foods i love. i worked super hard with 24 children and i totally think i deserve to eat anything i want on a friday.

last friday, i ate a dorito. okay. i ate more than one dorito. BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT WAS FRIDAY. i had a drink. BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT WAS A FRIDAY. i ate slices of pizza. BECAUSE IT WAS A FRIDAY. and i deserved it.

i am trying to learn that just because i work hard, and i "deserve" to eat what i want on the weekend... i don't have to... i am trying to learn what to do different. maybe i deserve to buy myself a new book. or i deserve to buy myself a manicure.

trying to get away from the mindset that i earned the right to eat "junk" on a friday. on a weekend.

weekends are a downfall.

BUT I LOVE A FRIDAY!!

tuna surprise.

i love tuna fish. this is a new found love. tim and i eat tuna at least once a week. i think we love eating it for dinner weekly because our cat, sasha, loves when we eat tuna fish. she goes crazy the minute one of those cans pop open! we love watching her go nuts!

tim did something a little different with the tuna fish tonight. he wanted to make tuna melts but i asked if he could make it a little healthier. he broiled it instead of cooking it in a pan using butter. he also only used one slice of bread and made it an open tuna melt sandwich. i figured the sandwich to be 500 calories and that includes the tuna, mayo, cheese, tomatoes, and whole wheat bread. it was a perfect dinner.



Happy Wednesday!

a new snack.

i have been packing my lunch every day since january 3rd. such a big accomplishment for me! when i go shopping on mondays, i try new snacks to pack and keep under 150 calories... thought i would share my new favorite!
I pack 14 of them for 130 calories! Such a great crunch!

H 2 the O

Water. i have been drinking water for 6 days straight. nothing but water. i have had some suggestions on how to make drinking water better and i am going to post them up here for anyone else who has trouble gagging down H2O.

1. lemon juice- this was suggested from a friend i work with- she brought in a little plastic lemon filled with juice and i squeezed a couple squirts in my water bottle... What a difference! it added flavor! and not artifical sweetner flavor! I just picked up a little lemon bottle at the grocery store today!

2. The Carbonator- this was a suggestion from a friend i met in virginia when jenny glenny was getting married- The carbonator adds fizz to your drinks! it just so happen that tim and i have a gift certificate from my wedding shower to william and sonoma that we never used! Tim gave me the "okay" to purchase this item with our gift card!! looking forward to creating fizz drinks without the sweetner.

3. Precut Lemons- this was a suggestion given to me from a high school friend- not sure why I didn't think of this one. (can you tell i never drink water) she suggested to precut them and put them in a container... they last a pretty long time... so, again i went to the store today and purchased a lemon, cut it up, and placed it in a container. i used one for dinner tonight!

4. Lemon ice cubes- this was a suggestion i heard from the faculty room.... and for the life of me i can't remember who-- she suggested that i put cut lemons in the freezer and them plop them in my water when i am ready to drink. it makes the water cold and adds lemon flavor!

what i have learned about water is that I hate drinking it with food. i can tolerate water when i drink it on the way to work or about an hour after lunch... when i drink it with food, i taste the food with the water and it totally grosses me out. hence, why the lemon flavor has been so important to me. i don't taste my food, i taste the lemon!

Weighed in this morning. 147.8... that is a loss of exactly two pounds since last monday! down 15.4 pounds! creeping away from 150 and it feels AWESOME!

Next weigh-in: Monday, March 21st.

60 Day Shred.

well. i haven't lifted a finger or even remotely did any kind of working out over the past 10 days. i have been eating carefully still. packing lunches. measuring my food and counting calories... i feel like a load has been lifted off my shoulder. before the wedding, all i cared about was losing weight. and losing weight fast. now, i feel like that stress has been lifted.

tim and i had a talk the other night at dinner. he made us delicious sloppy joes with grilled zuchini and onion as a side. i had one sandwich measured out. when i was finished, he said "have another one" i looked at him and said "tim, i can't eat like you." i want to eat like him but i know if i do, i put on it on my hips. and my back. oh and my face. i said that i want to eat portion controlled most days and have a few off ones and not feel guilty about them. he nodded and agreed.

so on that note. i have decided to tackle the shred again for another 30 days. so it will be more like the 60 day shred. what better way to get ready for a bathing suit than working those abs, back and arms. i may throw in a few days of running with the shred as the weather gets nicer.

weigh-in day tomorrow. praying for a loss. even if it is just a small one.

a dorito, an olive and a circus peanut.

we have doritos in our snack closet. big mistake.

doritos are by far my favorite snack food. when i was a kid, my mom didn't buy them because they would last maybe 2 days in our house. and when she did buy them... i remember my dad saying "ter, put the chips away."

i also love an olive. something about the salt. something about the way it tastes. i crave an olive at least once a day. i have a HUGE jar of olives in the fridge... and i tend to sneak a few every day...

circus peanuts are my favorite summer time snack. i love opening up a fresh bag and eating a few... then leaving the bag open and letting them get stale and hard. i honestly think i ate over 600 circus peanuts last summer alone.

i tend to go over the top with my favorite foods... i eat them like they are my last meal. so having those doritos in the closet are KILLING me. i drive home. and think about a dorito. i am packing my lunch. and i think about a dorito. i am sitting here blogging. and i think of a dorito.

those three foods i love. i have a hard time walking away from them. i have a hard time not obsessing over them.

the doritos are going in the trash. for my own good.

Ash Wednesday

lent is a big season in my family. when i was a kid, it was the worst time of the year. i went to catholic school and i remember having to give up our morning snack on fridays. i remember my parents telling me to "give up" something that i enjoy. OF COURSE i enjoyed candy and gum. so gum it always was. and then there was the no meat on fridays... we always had a pizza on fridays... forget the thought of going to mcdonalds for happy meal or eating chicken fingers.

fast forward 15 years. lent is still one of my most difficult times of the year. this year, i gave up sweetner. no more diet sodas. no more coffee with splenda. no more flavored water. here's to a month and a half of water drinking.

i was suppose to go out with a couple of girlfriends tonight but i am just feeling a little under the weather. i told tim we could whip up some eggs for dinner since we can't have meat and we didn't plan a dinner for tonight. he surprised me when he came home with a greek salad from saladworks. so much better than eggs. made my whole week.

happy wednesday!

1 day down. 39 more to go. :)

i need motivation.

weighed in this morning... i was a little nervous because i may have gone off the band wagon over the weekend... i was drinking heavy drinks on saturday with lots of cream... and i ate pizza hut for dinner last night! and let me tell you about the brunch yesterday morning... i might of have about 4 pieces of bacon... oh wait. six. i ate two of tim's pieces...

the new total is 149.8... that is a weight loss of 1.8 pounds since last monday... and a grand total of 13.4 pounds over ten weeks. for an average of 1.34 pounds loss a week.

the wedding is over... no more stress about fitting into a dress...and as i was telling tim... i am worried. worried because i have no motivation to keep losing weight... my brain knows it. i ate my healthy lunch today and continued to eat a healthy dinner but how long can i keep this up until i just give up.

i told tim today in the store that i will not eat any easter candy and keep counting calories until easter... on easter sunday, i can enjoy candy and dinner with my family. that is my next bench mark. eat healthy until easter sunday. and keep updating my weigh-ins.

lent starts on wednesday... my plan is to give up sweetner for forty days. that means no diet soda, no coffee with splenda, no fruity waters. i refuse to drink anything with real sugar because of calories... so for the first time... i bought a case of water... i hate water. i really hate water. but it is only for forty days... and who knows... i may grow to like it. even more than diet coke... nah. probably not.

next weigh-in: monday, march 14th.

beautiful weekend...

i can't even begin to describe how beautiful and wonderful this weekend was... my brother is now married to Amanda. and i am so happy for the both of them. i spent most of my weekend with her family and they truly are the most wonderful people. they make you feel comfortable the whole time you are with them. they are warm and inviting. dan is so blessed to be a part of their family. tim and i are also blessed to now be a part of their family as well.

onto the teeny weeny dress... it fit! it really is a stunning dress. but as i was telling people at the wedding... i am not use to wearing clothes fitted to me... i like to hide behind bigger clothes to not show those curves in my hips. my hips are the part of my body that i am the most self conscious about. they are wide. i can't tell you how many bruises i get on them from banging them into door frames or hitting the corner of a piece of furniture...

i have only one picture of me in the dress (thanks andrea for sending it!! ) i was so busy celebrating and dancing the night away that i almost didn't get a picture of it!

all in all, it looked great! but i did end up with a red ring around my neck from the top of the dress being super tight!

Thanks amanda and dan for a wonderful weekend! congratulations to both of you!

15 pounds!!

The time has finally arrived... time to fit in the teeny weeny dress... i have worked super hard this week and even incorporated running in my daily schedule...

stepped on the scale this morning... and it said 148.2! that is exactly a 15 pound loss in a total of nine weeks. for an average of 1.6 pounds a week...

after the wedding, i plan on working hard to get down to 140 even again...my wedding weight.

i will be sure to upload a picture of me in the teeny weeny dress...

going to continue to eat healthy and exercise... hope you continue to read my blog!

Have a wonderful weekend!

and i'm running...

got home today... and i got the itch. to put my sneakers on and run. i wasn't planning on running today... but the day was beautiful... i am really looking forward to the days getting longer ...

overall a great day... stepped on the scale today and saw 149.6....i wanted to be in the 140s for this teeny weeny dress... hoping to be there for good by saturday...

tim said to me tonight "are you going to go off the wagon this weekend eating?" i said "probably" i do plan on eating this weekend at the wedding... but i plan even more to be back on track first thing monday morning... i am going to be in bathing suit mode... that will be my new motivation...

happy wednesday!

breath of fresh air.

i finished my first run today since july and it felt amazing... i thought it would hurt but it was quite the opposite... it felt refreshing. i felt in shape... thanks to jillian michaels:)

i only ran for twenty minutes for about two miles (it started to get dark)... but i did jillian michaels' level 1 workout right after for a total of a 40 minute workout today.

hoping to get another short run in on thursday.

hoping to not get burned out with it because i push myself to the limit. hoping to understand that i am running to be healthy, and not running to be fast.

hoping to love running...