Weighed in today. and the new number is 154.4. miserable. that is a gain of 1.2 pounds. a total weight loss of 8.8 pounds in 4 weeks. i guess that is an average of a little over two pounds a week which is the healthy way to drop weight... trying to figure out what could of possibly caused the weight gain. tim said maybe i need to do more cardio. i told him that i am sweating up a storm when i am doing "the shred" i am dying! sometime i can feel my heart pounding out of my chest... i told him if i don't see a loss next monday, i will pick up running. however, i am down 3.5 inches around my hips... which is a bonus.
i completed day 15 of the shred. and let me tell you. level 2 is ROUGH. my shoulders have never worked so hard in 29 years! i am determined to complete 30 days in a row. and then rotate every other day with working out to jillian michaels and rest.
i have had many friends reading my blog (thank you for reading!!) and giving me AWESOME advice and suggestions... and i wanted to share them.
1. www.sparkpeople.com--- this website was suggested to me by a high school friend who is trying to lose 20 pounds as well! she said this site was suggested to her from a previous biggest loser contestant! LOVE that show. of course i jumped right on the website and it is awesome! and FREE!! tracks calories, exercise, fitness tips, and helps you stay on track with losing weight. loved it and i am looking forward to spending more time on the site and learning how to apply it to my life.
2. i am guilty of googling healthy living/weight loss blogs and a childhood friend suggested a few and i checked them ALL out... and they are great! favorites are Daily Nibbles, The Fitnessista, Please and Thank You, Losing Weight in the City, Kath Eats Real Food, Hungry Hungry Hippie and Healthy Tipping Point.
3. Chobani yogurt. a friend i work with suggested this for breakfast and it keeps her full until lunch. good source of protein! so of course, i went to the store today and picked up a strawberry banana and i CAN'T wait to try it tomorrow morning!
Thank you for all the suggestions and advice! i really love it and hopefully other people reading will use it too!
hoping next week you can tune in and see a loss.
Next Weigh-in: Monday, February 7th.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
childhood habits.
parties. my down fall.
some people say they eat because they are depressed, stressed, angry...
i usually don't eat with those emotions. i eat when i am happy. i eat the most when i am happy at a party. i think it is because of how i was raised.
my mom had us kids always have a bowl of cereal or something small for breakfast. i have grown up into an adult and do that now. my mom always packed me a lunch with a sandwich, fruit, cracker and something sweet. i do that now. my mom always made a healthy dinner with some kind of meat, or pasta, or veggie. again, i do that now. we ate a small snack in the afternoon. and i still do that.
when i was a child at a party. my mom let us eat. i remember being a ten year old dipping doritos in onion dip for what seemed like hours. i never left the junk table. and that is how i am as an adult. i love parties because i LOVE eating at them. oh. and socializing too as long as there is a chip in my hand:)
in my mind i feel like those calories shouldn't count. i feel like those 60 chips i ate should be only 100 calories and not 1000. but the reality is... i can easily consume 5,000 calories or more at a party. i don't even notice or realize how much i am eating at a party.
today i had a party. and i planned ahead. i drank a latte lite (which is so filling for 120 calories) before the party. i ate 3 tortilla chips and a wheat cracker. i then had the lunch that was served portioned. and i had NO cake! well... maybe just a small spoon of the icing.....all in all... i think it was a success... and a successful weekend.
bring on monday...
some people say they eat because they are depressed, stressed, angry...
i usually don't eat with those emotions. i eat when i am happy. i eat the most when i am happy at a party. i think it is because of how i was raised.
my mom had us kids always have a bowl of cereal or something small for breakfast. i have grown up into an adult and do that now. my mom always packed me a lunch with a sandwich, fruit, cracker and something sweet. i do that now. my mom always made a healthy dinner with some kind of meat, or pasta, or veggie. again, i do that now. we ate a small snack in the afternoon. and i still do that.
when i was a child at a party. my mom let us eat. i remember being a ten year old dipping doritos in onion dip for what seemed like hours. i never left the junk table. and that is how i am as an adult. i love parties because i LOVE eating at them. oh. and socializing too as long as there is a chip in my hand:)
in my mind i feel like those calories shouldn't count. i feel like those 60 chips i ate should be only 100 calories and not 1000. but the reality is... i can easily consume 5,000 calories or more at a party. i don't even notice or realize how much i am eating at a party.
today i had a party. and i planned ahead. i drank a latte lite (which is so filling for 120 calories) before the party. i ate 3 tortilla chips and a wheat cracker. i then had the lunch that was served portioned. and i had NO cake! well... maybe just a small spoon of the icing.....all in all... i think it was a success... and a successful weekend.
bring on monday...
Saturday, January 29, 2011
koalas, kangaroos and a bloomin' onion.
i mentioned in earlier blogs some "safe" restaurants that i love to eat at... subway, chipotle, wendy's (fantatic mandarin chicken salad) to name a few... however there are also very dangerous restaurants... one of which i am going to tonight with some friends.
the outback steakhouse. dangerous. i walk in and right away i think bloomin' onion. i seriously can eat half of it.. then comes the warm bread. don't mind if i do. add a salad? why not. with RANCH dressing please. by this point i have probably consumed over 1,000 calories and i haven't even touched my meal yet!
i decided to attack the restaurant from behind. i checked their menu and nutrition facts online... looks like i will be ordering "grilled chicken on the barbie with steamed vegetables" for 632 calories. i will have a piece of the bread (half of the bread is 233 calories so i will aim for half of the half for 117 calories) for some carbohydrates. my total calories for the dinner being 749 calories.
it is hard to believe but that chicken is one of the lowest calorie item on the menu!
planning on eating a very light lunch and breakfast and doing the shred to keep my calorie count on target for the day.
wish me luck down under!!
Nutrition Facts at The Outback...fun and interactive!
http://www.outback.com/menu/NutritionSelection.aspx
the outback steakhouse. dangerous. i walk in and right away i think bloomin' onion. i seriously can eat half of it.. then comes the warm bread. don't mind if i do. add a salad? why not. with RANCH dressing please. by this point i have probably consumed over 1,000 calories and i haven't even touched my meal yet!
i decided to attack the restaurant from behind. i checked their menu and nutrition facts online... looks like i will be ordering "grilled chicken on the barbie with steamed vegetables" for 632 calories. i will have a piece of the bread (half of the bread is 233 calories so i will aim for half of the half for 117 calories) for some carbohydrates. my total calories for the dinner being 749 calories.
it is hard to believe but that chicken is one of the lowest calorie item on the menu!
planning on eating a very light lunch and breakfast and doing the shred to keep my calorie count on target for the day.
wish me luck down under!!
Nutrition Facts at The Outback...fun and interactive!
http://www.outback.com/menu/NutritionSelection.aspx
Thursday, January 27, 2011
the scale.
i have a love/hate relationship with the scale.
weighing in is a process...i get myself all ready to step on the scale. making sure i am wearing the same clothes everytime i weigh in so not even the clothes or shoes can make a difference in my weight.
when i see pounds drop, i absolutely love the scale. i get on it again and again just to check to make sure. i cheer! i tell tim! i cheer some more and then i step on it one more time to see the number again.
this past tuesday i hated the scale. my number went up 2.8 pounds. it put me in such a bad mood. it makes me miserable. and i am really miserable towards tim. poor guy.
there was no need for that number to go up... i was watching a weight loss show last night and a trainer said "the scale never lies" i got so mad, i turned off the tv and will never watch the show again. it does lie. i have been counting every calorie and working out 30 minutes a day. i have calcualted my calorie intake and how many to eat when i am sitting around doing nothing all day (like on these snow days). i have done it. and in my opinion, the scale did lie.
i have decided to stay away from the scale. to stay away and to only weigh in on monday mornings.
just finished day one of level 2 of the shred. that was one heck of a workout. if my body doesn't hurt tomorrow, i will be shocked!
getting cabin fever. heading out tonight with friends. planning on getting a grilled chicken salad with dressing on the side...
weighing in is a process...i get myself all ready to step on the scale. making sure i am wearing the same clothes everytime i weigh in so not even the clothes or shoes can make a difference in my weight.
when i see pounds drop, i absolutely love the scale. i get on it again and again just to check to make sure. i cheer! i tell tim! i cheer some more and then i step on it one more time to see the number again.
this past tuesday i hated the scale. my number went up 2.8 pounds. it put me in such a bad mood. it makes me miserable. and i am really miserable towards tim. poor guy.
there was no need for that number to go up... i was watching a weight loss show last night and a trainer said "the scale never lies" i got so mad, i turned off the tv and will never watch the show again. it does lie. i have been counting every calorie and working out 30 minutes a day. i have calcualted my calorie intake and how many to eat when i am sitting around doing nothing all day (like on these snow days). i have done it. and in my opinion, the scale did lie.
i have decided to stay away from the scale. to stay away and to only weigh in on monday mornings.
just finished day one of level 2 of the shred. that was one heck of a workout. if my body doesn't hurt tomorrow, i will be shocked!
getting cabin fever. heading out tonight with friends. planning on getting a grilled chicken salad with dressing on the side...
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
snow day.
i made it ten days doing "the shred"
"the shred" is jillian michaels' workout dvd. it has three levels. ten days for each level. i have completed level one. i did a preview of level two and i'm terrified!
i felt such pain after the first day of doing level one. and i remember pushing through the pain on day 2 and 3. i have lost 3 inches around my hips which is the body part that i am really aiming to slim down...
what a difference from day 1 to day 10. i could hardly do 2 pushups and now i am doing 40! i could barely do a lunge and now i am champ. amazing how your body adapts and changes in such a short amount of time with hard work.
here's to level 2 of the shred and hoping i'll be able to raise my arms with no pain. oh and to do a jumping jack without my thighs slapping together...
tim made an awesome tomato, onion and cheese omelet tonight for dinner. hit the spot and for only 460 calories. and that includes the butter it was cooked with and the ketchup i used to dunk it in! :) it was filling and tasted delicious!
hooray for a snow day! i remember last year around this time we had a huge blizzard. and we were snowed in with doritos, cookies and snickers bars... this year. we are snowed in with oranges, blueberries and fiber bars...
praying for a two hour delay...
"the shred" is jillian michaels' workout dvd. it has three levels. ten days for each level. i have completed level one. i did a preview of level two and i'm terrified!
i felt such pain after the first day of doing level one. and i remember pushing through the pain on day 2 and 3. i have lost 3 inches around my hips which is the body part that i am really aiming to slim down...
what a difference from day 1 to day 10. i could hardly do 2 pushups and now i am doing 40! i could barely do a lunge and now i am champ. amazing how your body adapts and changes in such a short amount of time with hard work.
here's to level 2 of the shred and hoping i'll be able to raise my arms with no pain. oh and to do a jumping jack without my thighs slapping together...
tim made an awesome tomato, onion and cheese omelet tonight for dinner. hit the spot and for only 460 calories. and that includes the butter it was cooked with and the ketchup i used to dunk it in! :) it was filling and tasted delicious!
hooray for a snow day! i remember last year around this time we had a huge blizzard. and we were snowed in with doritos, cookies and snickers bars... this year. we are snowed in with oranges, blueberries and fiber bars...
praying for a two hour delay...
Monday, January 24, 2011
planned meals.
Weigh day... new number... 153.2... down exactly ten pounds since January 2nd.
tim and i have really cut back on eating out. we absolutely love eating at restaurants! it has been hard but tim makes such delicious dinners that sometimes i wonder why we waste our money in those places.
grocery shopping has been added to our routine since january 2nd. we go every monday night after work. we make a list during the week. we plan out our dinners, lunches and breakfasts. I LOVE THIS!! this is one big reason why i have been successful. pb and raison sandwiches for lunch this week with a piece of fruit and whole wheat crackers. omelets are planned. and i am trying the Kashi bars for breakfast this week.
after our monday shopping trip, it is usually about 7:30... our only day out to eat is monday night... we eat at chipotle. i love this place. i get a chicken bowl with no beans, sour cream or cheese. just chicken, salsa, lettuce and a little rice. yum! i figured it to be about 450 calories. and the hot salsa gives it a kick. i have read some health articles that says spicy foods help burn calories!
chipotle is a safe restaurant for me. along with subway. i can go in those places knowing i will not eat ridiculously.
hoping to see 151 by next monday. i will be happy with a two pound loss.
next weigh-in: Monday, January 31st.
ps. day 8 of "the shred" and it is still kicking my butt.
tim and i have really cut back on eating out. we absolutely love eating at restaurants! it has been hard but tim makes such delicious dinners that sometimes i wonder why we waste our money in those places.
grocery shopping has been added to our routine since january 2nd. we go every monday night after work. we make a list during the week. we plan out our dinners, lunches and breakfasts. I LOVE THIS!! this is one big reason why i have been successful. pb and raison sandwiches for lunch this week with a piece of fruit and whole wheat crackers. omelets are planned. and i am trying the Kashi bars for breakfast this week.
after our monday shopping trip, it is usually about 7:30... our only day out to eat is monday night... we eat at chipotle. i love this place. i get a chicken bowl with no beans, sour cream or cheese. just chicken, salsa, lettuce and a little rice. yum! i figured it to be about 450 calories. and the hot salsa gives it a kick. i have read some health articles that says spicy foods help burn calories!
chipotle is a safe restaurant for me. along with subway. i can go in those places knowing i will not eat ridiculously.
hoping to see 151 by next monday. i will be happy with a two pound loss.
next weigh-in: Monday, January 31st.
ps. day 8 of "the shred" and it is still kicking my butt.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Held Accountable
being held accountable... when i start to change my eating habits and live healthy, one of the most important ways to do so is to be held accountable. i tell everyone i know i am trying to eat healthy. that i am trying "the shred" that i am changing my lifestyle. that i am going from eating a bowl of buffalo chicken dip to a bowl of blueberries. that i am going from buying lunch at the cafeteria to packing my lunch everyday... i tell people. i tell people so that i feel like i am being held accountable.
i started my blog so that i know that even strangers are checking and holding me accountable. friends i haven't talked to in years are checking and holding me accountable. friends i see everyday are checking and holding me accountable...
i hate calling what i am doing a diet. i wish i would understand that this is a change. a change that will take years. not days. not weeks. not months.
tim and i ordered pizza hut last night. i ate very healthy during the day and ate two pieces of stuffed crust pizza for 350 calories a piece. i wanted more... but i stopped... i ate 1300 calories yesterday and it could have been a lot worst...
thank you for checking my blog. and reading it. i really do appreciate it.
i started my blog so that i know that even strangers are checking and holding me accountable. friends i haven't talked to in years are checking and holding me accountable. friends i see everyday are checking and holding me accountable...
i hate calling what i am doing a diet. i wish i would understand that this is a change. a change that will take years. not days. not weeks. not months.
tim and i ordered pizza hut last night. i ate very healthy during the day and ate two pieces of stuffed crust pizza for 350 calories a piece. i wanted more... but i stopped... i ate 1300 calories yesterday and it could have been a lot worst...
thank you for checking my blog. and reading it. i really do appreciate it.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Down 10!
stepped on the scale today for a sneak peek... and i am 153.2!! that is exactly ten pounds since January 2nd!! Lost ten pounds in twenty days... hoping this pattern continues and i lose another ten pounds in twenty days... i am looking forward to breaking 150...
Day 6 of The Shred. i am feeling stronger...i am able to do all the push ups and i am completing most of the exercises... hoping that by Day 10, i am ready to move on to Level 2!!
Jillian Michaels says "lose 20 pounds in 30 days. i am holding her to it!!
i have been taking my picture every day since Day 1 of The Shred... hopefully I will upload them and you can see the difference.
thinking ahead to my dress i need to wear on march 5th... it is an oyster color... i need a tan i think before the day... i have never been to a tanning bed... but am considering it and starting it in february... i have no clue how they work... hoping to find a buddy to go with me...
Offical weigh-in on Monday... hoping to remain where I am or have a greater loss.
Day 6 of The Shred. i am feeling stronger...i am able to do all the push ups and i am completing most of the exercises... hoping that by Day 10, i am ready to move on to Level 2!!
Jillian Michaels says "lose 20 pounds in 30 days. i am holding her to it!!
i have been taking my picture every day since Day 1 of The Shred... hopefully I will upload them and you can see the difference.
thinking ahead to my dress i need to wear on march 5th... it is an oyster color... i need a tan i think before the day... i have never been to a tanning bed... but am considering it and starting it in february... i have no clue how they work... hoping to find a buddy to go with me...
Offical weigh-in on Monday... hoping to remain where I am or have a greater loss.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
feeling miserable.
This is how i feel. flubby and miserable. as i work out to Jillian, i feel even more miserable. watching skinny girls complete workouts while my thighs are slapping together in the middle of jumping jacks. why do they put such tiny women on those workout videos. depressing.
finished day 4 of The Shred. hoping to really do 30 days and see if it changes my body. my body doesn't hurt nearly as bad as day 1 did... hoping that is a good thing :)
i even have tim doing the shred. it was much harder than he thought it would be. that guy was sweating and stopping in the middle of it! makes me feel powerful:)
onto the weekend... hopefully i will update sometime over the weekend. i did weigh-in today... 154.6... not a change in five days. miserable. hoping for a pound loss over the weekend...let's see 153!!
finished day 4 of The Shred. hoping to really do 30 days and see if it changes my body. my body doesn't hurt nearly as bad as day 1 did... hoping that is a good thing :)
i even have tim doing the shred. it was much harder than he thought it would be. that guy was sweating and stopping in the middle of it! makes me feel powerful:)
onto the weekend... hopefully i will update sometime over the weekend. i did weigh-in today... 154.6... not a change in five days. miserable. hoping for a pound loss over the weekend...let's see 153!!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The Shred
I decided to start some exercise... i began jillian michaels' The Shred... and let me tell you... it is great. my body is killing me... i hate being out of shape and trying to get myself back into shape. ouch.
expecting to gain weight this week since i started exercising... everytime i begin to workout i always gain weight... i eat the same but gain weight. and i defintely do blame it on gaining muscle.
hoping to see 153 this week... fingers crossed.
expecting to gain weight this week since i started exercising... everytime i begin to workout i always gain weight... i eat the same but gain weight. and i defintely do blame it on gaining muscle.
hoping to see 153 this week... fingers crossed.
Monday, January 17, 2011
How to maintain?
Weigh-in today: new number is 154.6. Down 2.2 pounds in a week. that is a total of 8.6 pounds.
This week I am going to start strength training. i have five pound weights that i am going to start using to tone my arms and get them ready for the dress.
A typical day:
Breakfast:
Oatmeal bar 220
Coffee 100
Snack:
crackers 120
Lunch:
Half of a turkey sandwich with two stacker pickles: 300
Orange: 100
Snack:
Raisons 120
Dinner
Salad or a measured 400 calorie meal
Snack:
Hot chocolate with marshmallows 150
Total Calories a day: 1,200-1,400 calories
I do switch up the fruit for lunch and snacks but try to keep them at a 100 calories.
I have learned that structure and routine is the easiest way to eat healthy. On my weekends, I try to keep the routine the same... but we have at least one social event a weekend and it makes it so hard!
Hoping that once I get to my goal weight of 140 that I can increase my calories just enough and learn how to maintain my weight.
i need to learn how to maintain my weight. i have never learned how to do that...i either eat to gain or i eat to lose. i need to problem solve that in the next fourteen pound or so..
feeling better about myself. will feel much better once "the ring" is gone.
Next weigh-in: January 24th.
This week I am going to start strength training. i have five pound weights that i am going to start using to tone my arms and get them ready for the dress.
A typical day:
Breakfast:
Oatmeal bar 220
Coffee 100
Snack:
crackers 120
Lunch:
Half of a turkey sandwich with two stacker pickles: 300
Orange: 100
Snack:
Raisons 120
Dinner
Salad or a measured 400 calorie meal
Snack:
Hot chocolate with marshmallows 150
Total Calories a day: 1,200-1,400 calories
I do switch up the fruit for lunch and snacks but try to keep them at a 100 calories.
I have learned that structure and routine is the easiest way to eat healthy. On my weekends, I try to keep the routine the same... but we have at least one social event a weekend and it makes it so hard!
Hoping that once I get to my goal weight of 140 that I can increase my calories just enough and learn how to maintain my weight.
i need to learn how to maintain my weight. i have never learned how to do that...i either eat to gain or i eat to lose. i need to problem solve that in the next fourteen pound or so..
feeling better about myself. will feel much better once "the ring" is gone.
Next weigh-in: January 24th.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
focus on the prize.
takes two weeks to break a habit and i believe that is how long it takes to mentally focus on eating healthy. i always think by the second weekend it is easier to turn down delicious food. it is easier to put on a pair of sneakers to take a walk. it is easier to prepare food that won't put on the pounds.
i have packed my lunch 10 work days in a row. and for me that is such an accomplishment. usually i buy lunch at school and it is so unhealthy. chicken nuggets, pizza, chicken patty, cheese steak... just to name a few. it takes me ten minutes of my time to pack my lunch at night and already i know it is worth it.
tonight i have a softball party to attend. this party of course will have all my favorites but i really plan on eating nothing there. nothing. chew gum.
hoping to break 150 two weeks from today. want to stay focused on the prize. aiming for 140. that will be the prize.
i have packed my lunch 10 work days in a row. and for me that is such an accomplishment. usually i buy lunch at school and it is so unhealthy. chicken nuggets, pizza, chicken patty, cheese steak... just to name a few. it takes me ten minutes of my time to pack my lunch at night and already i know it is worth it.
tonight i have a softball party to attend. this party of course will have all my favorites but i really plan on eating nothing there. nothing. chew gum.
hoping to break 150 two weeks from today. want to stay focused on the prize. aiming for 140. that will be the prize.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
i believe in miracles.
remember that ring i talked about last week. it is still there. i guess what i want to say is that i am just not feeling the difference in my body.
big mistake. it could be that i am getting on the scale twice a day. once in the morning and once in the afternoon. and i am seeing 156. 157. 156. 157. i want to see numbers scoot away from 160.
i know i always get to this point in diets. the point where i am kind of depressed about where my body is and where i want it to be.
not a lot of time to get to the body i want to be on march 5th. hoping a miracle happens... and i lose 17 pounds in 7 weeks...
big mistake. it could be that i am getting on the scale twice a day. once in the morning and once in the afternoon. and i am seeing 156. 157. 156. 157. i want to see numbers scoot away from 160.
i know i always get to this point in diets. the point where i am kind of depressed about where my body is and where i want it to be.
not a lot of time to get to the body i want to be on march 5th. hoping a miracle happens... and i lose 17 pounds in 7 weeks...
Monday, January 10, 2011
weigh-in update
down 6.4 pounds. everytime i begin to eat healthy i tend to lose 5 pounds quickly in the first week. mom says that will stop as i get older so enjoy it while it lasts! :)
it was a really hard week. going from easily 10,000 calories over the holidays to 1,200 is what made it so difficult. i was so use to eating anything i wanted and as much as i wanted.
this weekend, we had tim's holiday party. so many appetizers and unlimited drinks of whatever i wanted. i ate two shrimp and drank diet coke. for dinner, i ate half of everything. half of a crab cake. half of a petite filet. half of my mash potatoes. but i ate all my veggies and salad! i felt bad for the full plate at the end of meal but felt great after it was taken away and i didn't eat all those calories!
i also had a bridal shower this weekend. and the food was OUT OF THIS WORLD. food EVERYWHERE!! and all of it was delicious. and i don't want to toot my own horn but i did fantastic. i had three shrimp and a very small dinner plate. cherries for dessert. oh yea. and no wine! diet coke only!
keeping to the 1150 calories a day. not doing any exercise yet.
new weight: 156.8
next weigh-in: January 17th
it was a really hard week. going from easily 10,000 calories over the holidays to 1,200 is what made it so difficult. i was so use to eating anything i wanted and as much as i wanted.
this weekend, we had tim's holiday party. so many appetizers and unlimited drinks of whatever i wanted. i ate two shrimp and drank diet coke. for dinner, i ate half of everything. half of a crab cake. half of a petite filet. half of my mash potatoes. but i ate all my veggies and salad! i felt bad for the full plate at the end of meal but felt great after it was taken away and i didn't eat all those calories!
i also had a bridal shower this weekend. and the food was OUT OF THIS WORLD. food EVERYWHERE!! and all of it was delicious. and i don't want to toot my own horn but i did fantastic. i had three shrimp and a very small dinner plate. cherries for dessert. oh yea. and no wine! diet coke only!
keeping to the 1150 calories a day. not doing any exercise yet.
new weight: 156.8
next weigh-in: January 17th
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
the ring.
the ring. the red, itchy, indented ring that starts at my belly button with a big circular indent (from the button) and wraps around my entire stomach. i have realized that this is one of the worst parts of gaining weight. tight, uncomfortable pants. pants that fit me twenty pounds ago and am trying to squeeze my flubby body in them now... i just can't get myself to go to a store and buy new pants...bigger pants.
i knew i was gaining weight when the second i got home from school, i would drop those work pants and put on the first pair of pants with elastic that i could find. cozy, stretchable pants. yep. i remember that day. and i ignored it. wishing back then it was a sign to start eating healthy again... ugh.
today went great. healthy breakfast and lunch. tim made another delicious salad with apples tonight! and i had a hot chocolate for dessert with a few marshamallows for 170 calories.
two new goals i want to keep track of is my water drinking and my sleeping.
i hate water. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it. i hate that i hate it. my goal is to drink a cup of water a day. and maybe move it to two cups by february.
sleeping is also rough. my bedtime is between 11 and midnight. and i am up at 5:45.... i do catch up on weekends (sleeping in til noon) but i want to get myself on a 9:30-10:00 bedtime.
hoping to get both these goals and make them into life long changes for a healthier and more confident me:)
i knew i was gaining weight when the second i got home from school, i would drop those work pants and put on the first pair of pants with elastic that i could find. cozy, stretchable pants. yep. i remember that day. and i ignored it. wishing back then it was a sign to start eating healthy again... ugh.
today went great. healthy breakfast and lunch. tim made another delicious salad with apples tonight! and i had a hot chocolate for dessert with a few marshamallows for 170 calories.
two new goals i want to keep track of is my water drinking and my sleeping.
i hate water. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it. i hate that i hate it. my goal is to drink a cup of water a day. and maybe move it to two cups by february.
sleeping is also rough. my bedtime is between 11 and midnight. and i am up at 5:45.... i do catch up on weekends (sleeping in til noon) but i want to get myself on a 9:30-10:00 bedtime.
hoping to get both these goals and make them into life long changes for a healthier and more confident me:)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Gordo
there is a sweet mexican lady who cleans my classroom. she has been on maternity leave for three months. she returned to work today. and said to me in her best spanglish "you got gordo."... she in no way meant to be hurtful or mean... we were talking about my recent marriage and she noticed a little extra pudge since september. make that an extra 24 pounds of pudge... she was right... and had the guts to tell me.. so many times i think to myself "so and so gained weight" but never would think to say it aloud. maybe a culture thing... she chuckled when she said it and i chuckled right along with it.
this comment went right along with my brothers from sunday when he asked if i was allergic to something.. because my cheeks were puffy. nope just getting gordo.
day two of my diet was easy. i am motivated. motivated more by what people think which i am not sure if a great motivation but it gets me focused.
tim made a delicious tuna salad. no mayo. a mustard dressing with vinegar and lemon. lettuce, onions, tomatoes, a little cheese for some dairy. trying to persuade tim to get on the healthy wagon is so difficult but hoping to talk him into it.
exercise is nearly impossible to do. i don't have a tredmill anymore at hand...and when i wake up for work. dark. when i get home from work. dark. thinking about talking to a friend to see if they will walk/run with me at night. we'll see. trying to get the food thing down first before i start adding exercise.
two months until that teeny dress. i think i can, i think i can...
this comment went right along with my brothers from sunday when he asked if i was allergic to something.. because my cheeks were puffy. nope just getting gordo.
day two of my diet was easy. i am motivated. motivated more by what people think which i am not sure if a great motivation but it gets me focused.
tim made a delicious tuna salad. no mayo. a mustard dressing with vinegar and lemon. lettuce, onions, tomatoes, a little cheese for some dairy. trying to persuade tim to get on the healthy wagon is so difficult but hoping to talk him into it.
exercise is nearly impossible to do. i don't have a tredmill anymore at hand...and when i wake up for work. dark. when i get home from work. dark. thinking about talking to a friend to see if they will walk/run with me at night. we'll see. trying to get the food thing down first before i start adding exercise.
two months until that teeny dress. i think i can, i think i can...
Sunday, January 2, 2011
A note to the skinny theresa
dear skinny theresa,
well. i lost control of eating over the past six months. something you said not to do. you told me to remember how it felt being 140... how wonderful it was. i knew it was wonderful but so was eating anything i wanted to put in my mouth. i would say about a month ago i started to feel super icky in my clothes. nothing fit. ring around my waist from wearing pants to tight for me. not wanting to buy new clothes to fit because i didn't want to try on clothes because of how awful i look. getting frustrated with ANYTHING i put on my body. trying on ten different outfits and hating each one. throwing all my clothes on the floor out of pure frustration. and yet i continued to eat over the month of december. telling myself that i would begin taking care of myself again in january.
i do have motivation. i am in my brother's wedding. i need to fit in a teeny weeny dress. i want to get back in the 140s again.
i decided to count calories again... looks like i need to eat 1,150 calories a day to get to my goal weight by march. however, i plan on eating about 1500 and adding exercise to my routine.
hoping to exercise once a day. whether it be just walking or doing basic floor exercises. maybe i will pick up running as the months go on...
hoping to look like you again. hoping to be that confident, beautiful, skinny woman who walked down that aisle in july. hoping.
love,
fat theresa
new weight. 163.2- next weight-in- January 10th.
well. i lost control of eating over the past six months. something you said not to do. you told me to remember how it felt being 140... how wonderful it was. i knew it was wonderful but so was eating anything i wanted to put in my mouth. i would say about a month ago i started to feel super icky in my clothes. nothing fit. ring around my waist from wearing pants to tight for me. not wanting to buy new clothes to fit because i didn't want to try on clothes because of how awful i look. getting frustrated with ANYTHING i put on my body. trying on ten different outfits and hating each one. throwing all my clothes on the floor out of pure frustration. and yet i continued to eat over the month of december. telling myself that i would begin taking care of myself again in january.
i do have motivation. i am in my brother's wedding. i need to fit in a teeny weeny dress. i want to get back in the 140s again.
i decided to count calories again... looks like i need to eat 1,150 calories a day to get to my goal weight by march. however, i plan on eating about 1500 and adding exercise to my routine.
hoping to exercise once a day. whether it be just walking or doing basic floor exercises. maybe i will pick up running as the months go on...
hoping to look like you again. hoping to be that confident, beautiful, skinny woman who walked down that aisle in july. hoping.
love,
fat theresa
new weight. 163.2- next weight-in- January 10th.
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