Dear Nolan

Dear Nolan,

The last three months have been a whirlwind! and how has it already been THREE months?! you are the most chill, tolerant, and smiley baby. Your big brother just ADORES you. he can't wait to see you in the morning and always makes sure to give you a kiss before bed.

you seriously came into our family so easily. i was frightful of what to expect with a new baby joining our family that was already comfortable and set in our ways. you just went with the flow. you nap when you can. you eat when you want. you probably won't have a schedule for a while, but that is something your mommy needs to get over.

you love your bouncy seat, swing, and gym. you could play for HOURS in them. landon loves when you are in the gym. he knows this is the only time he can get down on the floor and play with you. sorry for the personal space thing... don't worry, you can get him back in a couple of years.

you failed hearing tests FOUR times over the past three months.  you tolerated two THREE hour hearing tests in one week alone. and a visit with an ENT to check those ears. i'm not exactly sure what it means, but i know you are hearing me. you smile when i sing. you coo when i talk to you. don't worry... your brother failed all his hearing tests at your age too. and he is doing JUST fine. 

you don't cry often, but when you do... you need us. whether it be to eat, sleep or snuggle. you need us. you have come a long way with your sleeping. you finally are going through the night and i feel GLORIOUS! i know this will change soon... and we will work through it. but thank you for now.

we have some big changes happening in our family again. and nope, you are not getting another sibling. but they are some very EXCITING changes. and i know you will just go along for the ride with your happy smile and calm demeanor.

love you little guy. i am so happy you are my baby. we are so blessed to have you in our family.

Love,
Mommy

Two Months!

two months already... GEEZ! Nolan is weighing in at 13.4 pounds and 23.5 inches!

Raising a newborn.

sometimes i think i should have been a mom thirty years ago. life was simpler. less stressful. no social media. no Facebook mom groups. no research articles at the tip of my fingers. moms went on instinct.

raising a newborn now a days is tough. i never considered myself an anxious person (although tim may think differently especially when i am a passenger while he is driving). however, so many things i want to do with my newborn goes against all research and i am too much of a nervous nelly to break the rules.

landon was put in his crib the day he came home. he had no problem sleeping long stretches and going back down to sleep after feedings. when i brought nolan home, i assumed he would be the same way. i placed him in his crib the night i brought him home... but he fussed and fussed. i thought nothing of it since it was his first day home and continued to put him in his crib for the next three weeks. it took hours for him to settle and fall asleep after each night feeding. very little sleep was occurring. finally i decided to put him to sleep in a rock and play at bedtime. it was the answer to everything. he started to sleep solid four hour chunks and had no problem going back to sleep after feedings.

as weeks went on, i continued to watch nolan's sleeping habits. i constantly laid him on his back to sleep only for him to wake up five minutes later. i was concerned about a flat head with the rock and play so decided to put him on his tummy to nap during the day. he slept amazingly. this is when i realized that nolan is a tummy sleeper. i know what research says about putting babies to sleep on their tummies. it completely frightens me. landon was a back sleeper and still is to this day. he got to sleep comfortably from day one. nolan is a tummy sleeper and i can't let him sleep the way he is the most comfortable.

so as much as my mommy instinct is telling me to let my little guy sleep on his tummy, i will listen to the research. i will listen to social media. i will listen to mom groups. because i am a nervous nelly. and frightened of possible outcomes.

i am thankful for all the research, but life just isn't as simple to raise a newborn as it was 30 years ago.

Momfriends.

i have always had good girlfriends in my life. when i was in high school, it was lynda, becky, lauren and allison. when i was in college, it was kristen and jen. they always made life more fun. we had countless sleepovers. many coffee dates. girls' nights out. and of course oodles of bus rides to track and cross country meets. 

as i grew older, those friendships changed. some of my good friends growing up went different paths. however, i am so thankful for the time we spent together and the memories we made. 

when i became a mom, my life changed. and my relationships with friends changed too. coffee dates were no longer my girlfriend and i talking about jobs, boys, and our futures. coffee dates were now entertaining a toddler with cheese sticks and rocking a fussy newborn in a carrier all while ripping open sugar packets one handed and flagging down the waitress for as many refills as we could before all heck breaks loose. 

many of my girlfriends are moms. i have been so fortunate to be able to meet with many momfriends over the past couple of weeks. and the one thing i realized is that we all pretty much feel the same exact way. we have so much in common. 

on saturday i got together with a momfriend and her family. we ordered some take out and usually the husbands pick up the food while we stay home and watch the four kids under 4. however, my friend's husband jokingly said that we could pick up the food and let me tell you... we jumped on it so fast, that he never had the chance to say he was kidding! 

jackie and i ran to the car. we drove out of the driveway in complete silence. we took deep breaths, looked at each other and chuckled at the fact that the chinese place was only three minutes away. we took the long way through the parking lot and parked the car. in front of us was the most amazing thing ever... 

this sign meant we could park here for fifteen minutes!!!  it was giving us permission to take a fifteen minute break. a mom-break! we sat, chatted, and laughed in a quiet car. no one was asking for an iPhone. no one dropped something and begging us to try and pick it up in the backseat. no one was whining about being hungry. we enjoyed our fifteen minutes, ran in the restaurant, grabbed the food and drove (slowly) back to her house. 

once we arrived home, the husbands were on the couch entertaining the four kids the best they could. some were running. some were throwing. some were crying.  but they were all alive and happy! 

we definitely loved our fifteen minute parking break... and i think there should be more of these signs hanging around for momfriends to have a mom-break...because we totally earn them!

Transition to two.

i've heard mixed reviews about what is more difficult... going from 0 children to 1 child. or 1 child to 2 children. it has been almost seven weeks since nolan has come along so i am still a rookie at this two kid thing (especially because he is not mobile!), but i can honestly say that going from 1 to 2 was a much easier transition on my life than having no children and going to 1.

now there are a few factors that may have made the transition easier to two. one of which being the age gap. landon is 3.5 and very independent. i am not kidding you when i tell you that the kid can play for HOURS at the kitchen table with play doh. it also helps that he is a good listener and sticks with me like glue if we are out and about. he is a pretty easy kid.

(Knock on wood) Landon has always been a pretty easy toddler/preschooler... but he was a very difficult newborn. he cried all day long, every day for the first three months of his life. and after switching formulas, giving him zantac for reflux, and just growing bigger, he finally became a happy baby. i think having a colic baby as your first is a very hard transition into motherhood.

nolan has been a very easy baby. tim and i joke that if nolan was our first, we wouldn't have waited so long to have another. tim and i assumed all babies scream their faces off for the first three months of life. we waited for nolan to do this. days and eventually weeks went by and we have yet to have a screaming newborn. i was so concerned about him not crying that i googled "quiet baby normal" to make sure nolan was okay! he will only cry when he is hungry and tired. i guess this is more the "norm" than what we had with landon.

so after seven weeks, transitioning to two has been great. sure, i now lug around twice as much stuff, but my life doesn't feel nearly as flipped upside down as it did transitioning to one.

Odd "Baby" Out

Numbers. i love numbers. but not just any number. the number has to be even. like 8. or divisible by five. like 15. or divisible by another number. like 21.  i also don't mind the numbers 1-9. they flow nicely.

when i was pregnant with landon, i was due may 26th. a nice even number. i remember panicking at the thought of having him on the 29th of may. or may 31st. i was hoping he would be born anywhere around those numbers. and i really didn't mind any number in the beginning of june. i hit the birthday jackpot with landon. he came on the perfect date of june 6, 2012. 6-6-12. i LOVED everything about it!! not to mention that my birthday is 6-12... it was meant to be.

when i picked the induction date of january 18th, i was thinking my labor would either be really quick and he would arrive on that date... or i would do the two day thing and he would come on the 20th of january. i was hoping we would avoid the number 19. just saying that number is difficult. it just doesn't come out of the mouth easily.

i was also banking on the 18th of january because it would be the best equation for our family. landon's birthday is the 6th. mine is the 12th. tim's is the 24th. he would have completed our perfect pattern with 18. multiples of SIX!!

as the clock neared midnight on the 18th, i knew our chance of being the perfect math family was slowly slipping away. and not only was my math dream not going to happen, he was going to be born on the 19th. an odd number. a prime number.

i have been adjusting and have accepted the 19th. how can i not, when i think of this guy every time the number leaves my mouth!

Sorry buddy...

i don't mean to toot my own horn, but i have a pretty darn good memory. if you tell me your birthday once, i will usually remember it OR get pretty close to nailing it.

this is why i am not sure how it happened. i mean, i have at least seven doctor appointments lined up in my head with different dates. and different times. different people. i have appointments all over from the ENT, audiologist, surgeon, OB, and pediatrician. i have a fancy little notebook that i write every appointment down in... but i got a little too confident in my ability to memorize dates and times.

and this is where mom of the year comes in. i completely MISSED my child's one month check up. yep. missed it. and the pediatrician couldn't squeeze me in. now the good news is that they rescheduled us. but the bad news is that it isn't until my kid is six weeks old. this means i will never have an accurate reading of his weight and height at one month. nope. i guess i could do the old home measurement and step on a scale with him. and take out a tape measure. but it isn't really "official."

so nolan, sorry buddy. sorry i missed your one month appointment. sorry your baby book won't be updated with your one month stats... oh wait........

sorry buddy... you don't even have a baby book.

Bottoms up.

well. i didn't make it. i thought if i stayed off my feet for two weeks and took REALLY good care of myself, that i would avoid surgery on those hemorrhoids. i should have known better. especially because one of the recovery nurses told me i would probably need surgery again. but i was being so optimistic and pushing pain away and hoping everything was healing. i didn't want to believe her.

i was feeling really good and pain was totally bearable. i started doing more at the three week mark when tim went back to work. i was getting up and down more. i was on the floor more both with landon and the baby. i was up and down steps all the time... i mean the washer and dryer are in the basement of my three floor home!

on valentine's day, i woke up in severe pain. i couldn't sit. i couldn't stand. i couldn't lay down. i couldn't even think. advil was no longer touching the pain. i cried myself through the day and knew i had to call the doctor in the morning.

i suffered through the night and first thing on monday morning, i called the doctor. they immediately gave me the number for surgery and felt awful that i was in so much pain. i was really hoping to get the doctor who did my previous surgery when landon was born. but, she wasn't available until FRIDAY. i told the nice secretary that i couldn't wait until then and she told me she had another appointment available the next day with another female doctor due to a cancellation. i jumped on it.

i suffered through monday and was a nervous wreck for the surgery that had to come. i knew what was going to happen. and the pain i was going to be in during and after the surgery.

on tuesday morning, i could barely function. my mom drove me to surgery while tim stayed home with the boys. the doctor was super sweet, and gently told me that things looked really bad and there is no way they would have healed on their own. no amount of tucks pads, ointments, steroids, ice, or heat would have made them go away. tears just streamed down my face. all that work for three weeks for nothing. i couldn't avoid the inevitable.

surgery was horrendous. i am glad that i am now six days out and i am finally feeling better. i think i am almost 100% recovered from delivering over a month ago. and hoping i can finally move on and enjoy everything pain free. nolan will be my last baby, and i am really hoping that i never, ever have to deal with this surgery ever again.

i want to make a mom shout out. i am so thankful for my mom who held my hand through the whole thing. she was there through the pain beforehand. she was there for the surgery. she was there for the awful recovery. she spent nights so i could sleep and recover. she kept my house clean and organized. she even let me take naps. i am so blessed to have her.

oh. and i want to make a shout out to Percocet. i was blessed to have them too.

 A month old already!! 

Hearing Test... Again.

when landon was a newborn, he failed his hearing test at birth. they told us it was VERY common for newborns to fail due to delivery and fluid. i thought nothing of it and took him home. we were required do a follow up assessment at CHOP which landon completely failed. the audiologist was greatly concerned due to the severity of loss that she saw and sent us to an ENT immediately. it was so difficult to go through that time with a newborn. it was the unknown. it was scary. you can click HERE to read about landon's hearing journey.

nolan was given his hearing test as well when he was born. the only difference this time around is that they did the test with me in the room. i watched the kind lady attach nolan to wires and a computer. after the test was completed, she told me that he failed both ears, but it is VERY common and they will reassess in the morning. instead of getting upset, i seriously just laughed. of course my second kid would fail the hearing test too.

the next day, nolan was given the hearing test again. i watched with little emotional towards the whole thing. after the test, the kind lady told me he failed his left ear and passed the right. i told her of landon's history of failing hearing tests at this age. she told me she was going to refer us to CHOP simply because of the family history.

yesterday, my mom, nolan and i headed over to CHOP for the hearing test. nolan did not pass either ear of his hearing test. the audiologist had a gut feeling that it may have been fluid so she checked for neurological issues with the hearing, which he passed. she is thinking it is just fluid in the ears. we go back for another test in two months. and if he doesn't pass, off to the ENT we go.

i've been down this road before...i am much more calmer. i have all my doctors lined up.  hoping he passes the test in two months, but until then i will not let this bother me and enjoy my little guy.

The best part of waking up.

i have been really working on this transition to two kids. mornings have been a little rough. between having to give my oldest breakfast, feed my baby, wash some bottles, and then making sure my oldest is given enough attention to start his day... and of course all on minimal sleep...it can make it really difficult to focus on my own breakfast and get that coffee pot going.

yesterday morning, i had very little sleep. baby was screaming. landon was hungry. and all i wanted was COFFEE. i just couldn't get that pot brewed fast enough.  i watched the pot slowly drip and i was DYING. there HAD to be a better way.

so smart me noticed there was a timer on my coffee pot. i took an extra five minutes last night and got it all set up. coffee will be dripping by 6:30 in the morning and be waiting for me when the craziness starts.

this morning i woke up to the smell of foldgers throughout the house. and let me tell you, the old saying holds true...

the BEST part of waking up is Foldgers in your cup!

(These two guys are also the best part of waking up!)

Baby weight.

when i started this blog YEARS ago, it was all about my weight struggles. the ups and downs. i went from writing in journals about my weight and food to blogging about it. i love food. especially junk food. and i have such little control. i love to eat.

when i found i was pregnant with nolan in may, i decided i didn't want to gain as much as i did with landon. i packed on sixty pounds with that guy. i also didn't want to get heavier than what i was with landon. those were my goals.

luckily, i didn't have cravings for mint chocolate chip ice cream every night like i did while pregnant the first time around. my only big craving i had was a coke. and a ranch dorito here and there. since i could only drink a certain amount of caffeine every day, i was able to control my coke intake to one can a day.  i think this helped with my weight gain.

in the beginning of my pregnancy, i remember going to doctors appointments and not gaining any weight. or gaining just a half pound. during the second trimester, i gained maybe a pound or two during my monthly check ups. only one appointment, i remember gaining five pounds.

i ended up putting on a total of thirty pounds with nolan. half the amount than i did while pregnant with landon. and it is hard to believe but i am two pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight. the weight i gained has easily come off with very little change to my diet. i did stop drinking coke though... for some reason, it just doesn't taste as good as when i was pregnant!

a winter baby.

when i found out i was due in january with Nolan i was so disappointed. i honestly HATE the month of january and it is my least favorite month. and february is a close second behind. i hate the excitement of christmas being over. i hate the idea of the long, cold month ahead. january is a LONG month.

as fall approached, i realized just how quick my pregnancy will go being due in january though. i mean it is holiday after holiday in the fall/early winter. i liked the idea of my pregnancy feeling fast since landon's seemed to go on forever. i think it is because i was pregnant with him during a whole school year.

i loved being in my second and third trimester in the fall and winter. i was hot all the time and loved the idea of it always being cold outside.

and then came the delivery. i also loved delivering in the winter. when i had landon in june, it was the start of the summer. it was hot. i felt horrible putting him in a car seat in my car. but there were picnics. and parties. and barbecues. i mean... it was summer! i felt bad staying in and trying to recuperate. i didn't want to miss anything! in january, no one parties. no one has barbecues. no one does picnics in the middle of the winter. we can stay in pajamas all day and have no guilt. because there is NOTHING going on. in fact, most of our family and friends are probably doing nothing too.

now... there are also some drawbacks on a winter baby. landon had a cold the thursday before the baby came. and it lingered and lingered. week after week. we told him to only kiss the baby's head and feet. but of course, we couldn't dodge it for long. the baby got his first cold last monday. nose sucking and propping became part of our routine. he finally beat it over the weekend just in time for landon to spike a fever, catch a terrible cough, and have an ear infection. i need to put this baby in a bubble. sick babies make me a little nervous!!

all in all, having a baby in the dead of winter is definitely the way to go if i can keep him healthy over the next couple of months. he will be the perfect age this summer to enjoy! but until then...

Baby, its cold outside!!

Big Brother

i didn't know how the transition to two kids was going to be. tim and i have so much love for landon, and we seriously didn't know how bringing a new person into our home was going to fit. 

we probably did things a little backwards with landon. when i found out i was pregnant, i didn't want him to know about a baby right away. i wanted to tell him when it got closer. i wanted to tell him after we transitioned him out of the crib. i didn't want to make a big deal about this baby coming into his life. i wanted to keep everything as chill and calm as i could.

i wasn't sure how and when to tell him. i was thinking around christmas time. maybe thanksgiving. however, we got lucky and his babysitter told him while we were at a wedding. he came out of the blue one night around halloween and told me i had a baby in my belly. we sat him down and told him the baby wasn't coming for a while. we had to get through thanksgiving. christmas. and then the baby. 

every day he checked in on my belly and the baby. he asked every morning "how's the baby doing?" and my answer would be... it's getting bigger!! 

when landon came to meet the baby for the first time in the hospital, it was love at first sight. he took the baby in his arms and looked me in the eyes. he said, "thank you for this baby, mommy." my hormonal self teared up, gave him a squeeze and said "you're so very welcome!"

we made it almost three weeks, and landon is still in love. he is so gentle. kisses his head and feet (mostly because, landon has been sick and we want him no where near his face!) watches me give him a bath. doesn't mind when he is screaming and crying. nolan fits in perfectly. its like he has been here the whole time. i keep wondering if the novelty will wear off for landon. and it might. but for now, i'm really trying to cherish these memories with my two little boys. brothers.

Recovering again.

i had NO clue what was coming after i delivered landon. i expected to come home and live my life like normal, but with a newborn. i thought i would make dinners every night. i thought i would be able to keep my house clean. i thought i would be able to go out and see friends with my first born son. boy was i ever wrong. you can read about my recovery with landon HERE!

this time around, i was ready. i KNEW what was coming. and thankfully the doctor and nurses knew how difficult my recovery was with landon and were also prepared to help me in any way.

when i was at the hospital, i was much more verbal about my pain. what hurt. what could i take and do to make it better. i was desperate to avoid surgery on those stinking (see what i did there :)) hemorrhoids again. they loaded me up with creams, sprays and prescriptions to help me recover.

when i came home i refused to do anything for TWO weeks. tim only had two days of paternity leave when landon was born, but with Nolan, he had two WEEKS! tim did everything. and i sat on the couch. laid in bed. did a little walking through the house here and there. but most importantly, i just took care of myself.

i drank lots of water. i ate really healthy. i took vitamins. i took everything the doctor gave me. i took a shower every day (and got right back in clean pajamas!), i washed my face, i did my hair, i focused on just me for two whole weeks.

i have been very blessed to have tim be so involved in taking care of us and the house. i am also so lucky to have my mom help out and keep up with my laundry and house cleaning. it really does take a team to help a mom recover from having a baby. i am feeling great. no pain. and almost completely recovered without surgery! and i wish every woman had the love and support that i have been given since Nolan has entered this world.

A Baby is Born

i thought i would take some time and write my newest birth story. landon's story can be seen here if you are interested in reading about his!

we were told to call at 7:30 in the morning on the 18th of January to get a time to come into the hospital. i anxiously made the phone call and they told us they would see us in an hour. tim, landon and i quickly showered, dressed, and got ourselves in the car within thirty minutes. we dropped landon off at my mom's and tim and i took off to the hospital.

we were registered and checked in by 10:30. at 11:00, the nurse started the induction with the cervidil. we would wait twelve hours and see what happens. i cringed when she said that. i have done this before with landon and it brought back awful memories. around 1, my doctor came to check on me. she checked me and told me my cervix was thick and closed... not even close to dilating yet. my heart sank, and she inserted the cervidil again.

at 2:00, i started to feel some back pain and was a little sick. by 2:30, i started having contractions every minute in my lower back. it was terrible. it was contraction after contraction with no break. tim and my mom took turns pushing on my lower back to help relieve the pain. these contractions continued every minute until 6:00 when my doctor came back. she realized the pain i was in, took out the cervidil and  immediately called for the epidural. i was three centimeters! she squeezed the IV in me as quick as she could with a blood pressure cuff so i could get the epidural quickly. at 7:00 i was given the epidural and it was amazing.

i was contracting on my own after the epidural and by 8:00, i was six centimeters. things kind of slowed down there. we were waiting for my water to break on its own with my contractions. at 11:30, i was checked again and was still six centimeters.  i was so upset. no progress in 3.5 hours!

the doctor came in and broke my water and got things moving again. by 1:00, i was ten centimeters! the nurse and doctor knew my history of pushing for four hours with landon and they wanted the baby to get lower and to hold off on pushing right away. they cut the epidural at 1:15 and i cried through the pain (because i am a crier) until 2:00. at 2:15 i started pushing and our little baby was born at 2:44 in the morning on January 19th.

 tim and i were full of tears when we realized it was a BOY!

 landon had a little brother. 

Nolan James Odgers was born on January 19th at 2:44 AM weighing in at 7 pounds 15 ounces and 18.5 inches long. we are so blessed to have another son.

My Doctor

when i found out i was pregnant four years ago, i realized i needed to find an ob. i always did my check ups through my family doctor and had no idea where to even start, but there. i remember calling my family doctor and letting the secretary know that i was expecting and i had no clue what to do. she told me i needed an ob and gave me a list of suggestions. she mentioned chester county ob, she mentioned a dr. delaney, she mentioned great valley ob, and then she said did i mention dr. delaney? and if not, i strongly recommend that you call her first. and that is exactly what i did. 

the first time i met her, she was busy, quick, but kind. i liked her. she also was very supportive through all the craziness when i was pregnant with landon. she was very thorough and wanted to make sure i was at my healthiest when delivering him.

over christmas, i went to my 36 week appointment. she asked me how i wanted my delivery to go with the newest baby. i told her i was frightened of delivery because of everything with landon. the 42 hours of labor. the four hours of pushing. the broken clavicle. the weird shaped head. the torticollis. and of course my hemorrhoids. she then told me that if this delivery becomes long and hard that she would consider a c-section. this made me feel better. she also told me that she would try to make this next experience like a spa. i told her i was holding her to it. 

the following week, on January 4th, i saw dr. delaney again. everything looked great. the baby was measuring right on. blood pressure was good. and right before i left, she said "i want to induce you at 39 weeks." i was shocked. never in a million years did i think this baby would come early. in fact, i was planning on a super bowl baby since landon came two weeks late. dr. delaney was concerned about everything that happened with landon and my body during the first delivery and she thought it would be best to induce me early. i figured she knew best. she has been doing this for years and years. i wanted a healthy baby. i wanted to be healthy. i agreed with her professional decision and scheduled my induction date before i left the office. january 18th., 2016.

(Landon trying out the new toys before the new baby arrival!)

Pregnancy- Take Two

When i found out i was pregnant again with number two, i was petrified. i remember thinking how am i going to do this again for nine long months? i was having flashbacks to being pregnant with landon. enlarged spleens. elevated liver levels. cancer scares. hemorrhoid surgery. could i do this again?

(34 weeks!)

i didn't tell anyone i was pregnant for at few days. not even tim. i called the doctor to make my appointment. and joked with the secretary telling her that she was the first person i told that i was expecting. 

my first appointment was on june 4th. i was a NERVOUS wreck. my body was shaking uncontrollably when i went into the office. the nurse took my blood pressure and it was the highest it had ever been in my life. she talked to me and calmed me as the appointment went on and she had to take it three more times before i left.

on june 12th i went for my first ultrasound to check on the baby. everything looked great. it became real. tim and i decided to keep quiet until the first trimester went by. we wanted to make sure everything was going to be fine. 

i went back to my doctor in july. my blood pressure was much better. i told her that my only goal for this pregnancy was to be drama free. no spleen scares. no liver scares. no hemorrhoids. she understood and called me her spleen girl. 

my pregnancy went along nicely until week 26 when those hemorrhoids decided to rear their ugly faces. the pain was unbearable but i was petrified of surgery again. i suffered and suffered for two weeks.  around that time, i also fractured my ankle and required a big boot on my foot. i hobbled and waddled for six weeks. but still, could totally manage.  

after those bumps in the road and that little bit of drama, the rest of my pregnancy went wonderfully. i felt good. and was very happy and excited to meet the newest addition to our family.

(38 weeks!)

Deciding on Another...

Oh. boy. It has been such a long time since i blogged. i am blaming it on being a full time mom and working full time. oh. and also being pregnant over the past 39 weeks. exhaustion is the only excuse i can come up with.

i don't even know where to start. to catch up. to make sure that the new baby has a little information. just like landon does.

i'll start with last march. march of 2015. a friend of mine had a beautiful baby girl. she also had a tough delivery with her first. but she told me how different the second delivery was. how different the second baby was. how much easier everything was the second time around. i shared this information with tim and he kind of looked at me funny, but after thinking about it more, i thought maybe we should start trying for a sibling for landon. if it is meant to be, it will happen. and if not, we would be totally fine with one kiddo. tim was on board.

well... a month later we found out we were pregnant with number two. tim and i were scared to death. it happened so fast. i remember thinking a baby in the early spring would be perfect, and we were shocked to discover the due date being in January. January 24, 2016.

our lives were about to change again. we were scared of everything. we were scared of being pregnant again. we were scared of the delivery. we were scared of reflux. we were scared of colic. we were scared of torticollis. we were scared of hearing problems. we were scared of helmets.

when most people find out they are pregnant, they think about the gender. they try for a girl. or a boy. and hope for one more strongly over the other. i can honestly say that tim and i could care less what the outcome was. we wanted a sibling for landon. but most importantly all we cared about was a healthy, happy baby.