vacation.

this time tomorrow...i'll be on the road... it is my turn to go on vacation!! i have never been on vacation in September... but i am super excited to do so! i am expecting it to be less crowded since many families have kiddos back in school...we are just heading to the jersey shore but it is the idea of getting away from these four walls that make it exciting. i need a vacation. bad.

i decided to weigh myself today since i will not be around for the weigh in on monday... and the number is 184.8. that puts me at almost a ten pound loss since i started on September 4th!

but we all know what happens on vacations... ugh. i do plan on eating my favorite food on saturday night (chicken wings!!). and then hoping to eat in moderation throughout the rest of the week. i am also packing my sneakers and walking my baby every day... maybe twice a day!

(hanging out while mom gets ready for VACA!!)

hoping to get a couple blog posts going while at the beach... i can't wait to get my toes in the sand, hold my baby in my arms, and relax listening to the ocean.

any suggestions on how to keep it together on vacation and not fall completely off the wagon?

to infinity and beyond...

last night we picked up Landon't helmet... he was a trooper through the whole process since it was WAY past his bedtime when we arrived. we were told not to start the helmet until this morning... so at nine o'clock this morning... i put on his helmet.

last night i cried on the ride home. i tried to stay strong at the helmet facility but once we hit the road, the tears streamed. they streamed because i was sad to think that my little guy will be in a helmet 23 hours a day for the next four-six months. that means most of his little baby life. most pictures taken of him will be in a helmet.

i know i am blessed beyond belief with the issues that we have... everything so far we have learned is fixable...(although not sure about the hearing)  but it is still stressful and frustrating. however, i am also very blessed with a happy, smiley baby. he has not a care in the world about this helmet being on his head. he has gone about his day the way he usually does. my little love bug...

(our little Buzz Lightyear)

so here is hoping for a nice looking noggin' at the end of the helmet road.

minus two.

weighed in this morning...186.2... that puts me down two pounds... i'll take it! i ate healthy most of the week... however, the weekend... now that is a complete different story. tim and i attended a wedding and let's just say... i ate! the appetizers were out of this world. and at the end of the night... i left with a bag of candy... which i ate on sunday morning... for BREAKFAST!

i may have to cut back on the shred. ever since i delivered landon, my knees have ached. well fast forward three months, and now my knees are in pain from the minute i wake up to the second i go to bed... the only thing that makes the ache less is ADVIL. i am still walking a lot but depending on how my knees feel tomorrow will determine if it is a go ahead on Day 9 of the Shred.

one thing i really want to start toning and focusing on are my arms. they are disgusting. tim and i took many pictures on saturday and i HATED every one of them because of my arms. finally, we took one and i had tim try to hide my arms... and i kind of tucked them behind him... and our picture turned out looking more like we were "buds" than husband and wife. all because of fat arms.

speaking of fat arms... hoping that lifting this chunker every day will thin them out a little bit... he is starting to enjoy his exer-saucer! and it is so fun watching him!

every three hours

i have been very aware of the amount of calories i have been consuming over the past week... i also made the decision to eat on a schedule. i have decided to eat every three hours. i eat breakfast at 7. and three hours later, i eat a snack. i eat lunch at 12. and three hours later, i eat a snack. i eat another snack around 5:30 since my husband and i eat dinner around 8:00 every night.

this eating schedule has worked for me ONLY because i am home. if i was teaching, there would be no chance for me have an eating schedule. not to mention, i would be exposed to the cafeteria and pizza bites. and hot dogs. and hamburgers. and cheese steaks. and chocolate milk.

i have been mixing up my snack choices every day between chobani yogurt, granola bars, crackers, and carrots with hummus. i plan on buying a new and different snack every time i go to the grocery store so i don't get bored. i also treat myself to a latte lite at dunkin' donuts a few times a week for 90 calories.

completed Day 7 of The Shred today... almost a third of the way finished! it is SO HARD. during the workout i feel the burn the ENTIRE time and i want to quit the ENTIRE time. after i am finished, my body is sweating up a storm, i am usually running for water but i am happy i did another day. working out is so mental... especially when every inch of your body is hurting.

i like The Shred because it is in the comfort of my own home. i am not ready to run outside in front of people yet. i am not ready to head to a gym and workout in front of people yet. i  just don't feel comfortable in my skin yet. so, The Shred it is until i get to that point...

do you feel uncomfortable working out in front of people?

perfect time.

since i have been staying home... my mind usually travels all over the place. for example, today, i was walking landon around our block (okay, maybe up and down a hill since i don't live on a block) and i thought "September is the perfect time to have a baby." i am in NO way planning a second baby but i have friends who either delivered in the past couple weeks or are due super soon. i always thought the perfect time was may/june since the summer is the best time to take babies for walks and just take them out and about. landon was a pleasant surprise for tim and i and i remember thinking as i frantically tried to figure out my due date... "yes, MAY!!" but when you deliver in May and what i didn't know is... you have to deal with a baby in the heat. going for walks just don't happen. it is too hot. car rides are rough. the car is wicked hot.

september is perfect. the weather is perfect to get that newborn out and about. and the temperature is perfect. by the time december comes... your little one is old enough to not stress as much about the temperature. so for all you september mommies... enjoy this cool weather with your new little ones!

i completed Day 6 of the Shred this morning. it is definitely becoming much easier and i am hoping that by Day 10 i am ready to move to Level 2. Tim made me an awesome tuna salad last night... it was very simple and fast...he added a delicious homemade mustard dressing to it and helped it taste out of this world! 

life with landon is slowing down a little bit. however, we met with the helmet lady yesterday... he will be getting a helmet next week to keep on his head all day long. she told me his head shape is very severe because of the torticollis and looks like we will be going through two helmets. 

possible good news is that the shift in his head could be narrowing the ear canal... and therefore causing hearing loss. praying that this is the case for landon and once we start straightening his little noggin he will hear better. but again... not getting our hopes up too much. please keep those prayers coming... still hoping and praying for a miracle! :)

Three months...

Hard to believe his stats were 8 pounds 14 ounces and 19.5 inches on June 6th because he is just growing in the blink of an eye...

June 6th

8 pounds 14 ounces

19.5 inches

 (1 Month- July 6th)

10 pounds 8 ounces

22 inches

 (2 months-August 6th)

13 pounds 9 ounces

24.5 inches

(3 months-September 6th)

14 pounds 14 ounces

25.5 inches

Under the boardwalk...

had my weigh-in this morning... and after a week of doing Jillian and counting calories... i lost 5.6 pounds. the scale said 188.6 this morning. i was happy to see this number and get out of the 190s. 

i have decided to take this weight loss journey down a different path than i usually take it. i usually am super strict and determined to lose as FAST as i can. not this time. this time, i have accepted the fact that it took me nine months to pack it on... so i am giving myself nine months to get it off. 

did i stick perfectly to my 1400 calories? no. i had a wonderful weekend away with friends at the shore and the last thing i wanted to do was count calories as i ate my gyro on the boardwalk. did i do jillian every day this week? no. i took a break over the weekend. it would look silly doing lunges with a bicep  curl with friends watching so i just walked the boardwalk. 

(Landon's first trip on the boardwalk)

(Playing with Tucker at the beach house)

for now, i plan on counting calories and exercising on a normal day schedule. however, when special things occur, i will enjoy. otherwise... this weight loss will be MISERABLE. i have six months. six WHOLE months. that gives me until march 6th... pre-pregnancy weight by March 6th. so doable. so not stressful. 

completed Day 5 of The Shred today... my body doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did last week and i am able to hang with jillian better than Day 1, that's for sure. and tim made a delicious wheat pasta with broccoli and tomato... totally hit the spot. 

so even though i enjoyed eating this weekend, i still was able to get focused again this week. hoping for another loss next week. even if it is just a pound!

Next weigh-in: Monday, September 17th

My body hurts... and a giraffe.

my body has been hurting. a lot. right now i can totally blame it on Jillian Michaels. but the thing is, my body has been hurting since i delivered landon. by the end of the day, i would have aches and pains throughout my body. my legs hurt. my back hurt. and my knees really hurt. i remember telling my mom this about a month ago... and her explanation for my body aches was..."you are heavier than you have ever been before." meaning that my body was not use to carrying all this extra body weight and by the end of the day, it was tired and sore.

totally made sense to me... but i didn't want to hear it. i just had a baby, who had a lot of needs. and the last thing i wanted to hear was my body was heavy. however, it stayed in my mind every night when my whole body was sore from running up and down stairs, picking up landon (in the RIDICULOUS heavy carrier) and playing on the floor all day.

speaking of playing on the floor with landon... i kept hearing all about this teether called Sophie la Girafe. i guess it is a teether made in france. when i first heard about it, there was NO way i was getting it... it was $25.00!! who in their right mind would spend that kind of money on a silly teether... me. i did it. but only after watching this adorable video on it!!

so far, so good. he seemed to enjoy it. although i am literally putting it in his hand every waking hour of  the day. for twenty-five bucks, he better enjoy it. :)

butt kicks... kicked my butt.

i have taken a few steps to get ready for this healthy transition in my life. tim and i went through our fridge and trashed anything we thought might throw me off track... good bye vanilla icing. we went through our pantry... good bye potato chips. and finally did a clear out of the kitchen... good bye brownies sitting on our counter since friday. 

we did a big grocery shop on monday... and stuck to healthy snacks and meals. welcome to our home carrots, bananas, wheat pasta, ground turkey, broccoli, tomatoes, and cheerios. 

day one of purging junk food out of our home and eating healthy was successful. i am going to stick with how i lost weight in the past... counting calories using my LOSE IT app on my iphone and doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred.

this morning i couldn't move. my abs hurt. my butt hurt. even my armpits hurt. i was miserable doing day 1 yesterday and cursed at myself (and jillian) for the pain i felt during the 25 minute workout. i have learned that doing butt kicks at 160 is way easier than 190. i have to hold my belly as i move up and down. yes, you read right... when i run, my stomach moves in ways i have never seen or felt before. it feels weird. uncomfortable even. so when i have to move up and down, one hand always tries to hold the stomach in place. it truly is a scene to see me in action. however, it totally motivates me to focus and finish each session. 

i will do weekly weigh-ins every monday...just like in the past! mondays work well for me because it helps me "be good" over the weekend knowing i step on the scale on monday morning. 

you can follow those weekly updates by clicking on "my journey" page at the top of my website. 

today is the day..

today is the day...

today is the day i start counting calories- 1,400 a day.
today is the day i start exercising- just finished day 1 of the 30 day shred.
today is the day i have decided to share how much weight i gained during my pregnancy- alot.

i have been embarrassed to share how much i gained because like i said in an earlier post... it is WAY more than the average pregnant woman is supposed to gain... (25-35 pounds) i have only shared my weight gain with one other person and her blog... it felt good to get it out there and know it was in a "safe" place. but now it is time to bring it out. my mom will be shocked. she swears i gained maybe 30. she thought i looked good throughout most of pregnancy... but she is my mom. and she is supposed to say that.

here it is. on the day i delivered landon... i tipped the scales at 215. you read it right. 215 pounds. i weighed ten more pounds than tim at that point. see what mint chocolate chip ice cream every night before bed does to a pregnant body?

that means i gained between 55-60 pounds during my pregnancy. throughout my whole pregnancy my mom would constantly say "i only gained 12 pounds during my first pregnancy." it always got on my nerves because i remember when i gained twelve pounds in one month during my pregnancy. my doctor never seemed to be concerned about my weight gain. i guess i carried it well being 5 feet 7 inches tall. although she did think i was having a "BIG" baby.

i lost thirty pounds pretty quickly... dropped to 182 by the July 19th... however, with the stress of all our problems with landon.... and the idea of me having cancer... i just stopped caring. i remember thinking on july 24th... "if i have cancer, i better beef up... treatments and the disease could make me lose a ton of weight and be even sicker." yes. this was my thought process... and this thought made me gain 12 pounds back in six weeks.

so my number is 194. i weigh 194 pounds. i am petrified to hit that 200 mark again and need to start getting far away from it. i took some "before" pictures of myself but i am going to wait to post them until i am done the 30 day shred... hoping to see some kind of progress because those pictures are horrendous.

but until those pictures... here is our first family shot taken last weekend!