and he is laughing...

landon got a HUGE kick out of me clapping my hands at him... this has been the one and only time he has laughed... but i absolutely loved it. as you can hear in the video.

a relief.

i mentioned in the last blog post that i had some health concerns/issues to attend to before i wanted to start losing this baby weight... and after today... i can finally say... i am 100% healthy.

 (Landon is celebrating!! )

for those of you new to the blog, back when i was twenty weeks pregnant, doctors found i had an enlarged spleen.. (click here to read about that drama) oodles of blood was drawn and doctors concluded it was enlarged due to having mono in the past and just being pregnant. the decision was made to ultrasound my insides again six week post partum. well. i had my abdomen/pelvic ultrasound on july 24th...i passed according to my OB... but the surgeon who was attending me said i failed (my spleen was still enlarged) and needed to move to the next step. oncology and hematology.  those words frightened me to death.

i had an appointment on august 14th. my doctor was nice... but basically wanted to test me for EVERYTHING under the sun out there... from blood work, to CAT scan, even my bone marrow...he explained that the spleen is a BIG lymph node. and he was concerned about whether or not i may have a cancer related to it. talk about stress, anxiety and nerves. here i am dealing with a hearing impaired, torticollis, reflux and broken clavicle infant and he threw the word cancer at me.

off i went for blood work on the 16th of august. 13 vials of blood. and for the first time, i just about passed out. they had to tilt me back and give me a wash cloth. miserable. on the 21st of august, i had to do a complete cat scan of my insides... i had to drink this 32 ounces of this AWFUL barium. and then they stuck an IV in my arm to light up my veins.

and after months, weeks, days and hours of testing. i don't have cancer. in fact, all my blood results came back wonderful. even my iron came back great! (which was low on August 14th) !! and the CAT scan results show my spleen size being a perfectly normal size! i cried the minute the doctor told me and the nice man gave me a big hug.

so now i am ready to hit the ground running. september 4th. healthy eats and exercise. but until then... tim and i are going to celebrate with a martini... i mean... i feel like i am starting fresh... like a new year... why not make it a birthday cake martini!

new school year resolutions

in the past, i would blog almost every day. it was a way to reflect on my day and my eating patterns. i always had a story to share about something that went on in my life. once, i found out i was pregnant last september, i just stopped. i stopped mostly because i was obsessed with being newly pregnant and that was ALL that was on my brain and I wasn't ready to share it with the world yet.

last night, tim and i looked through my blog... we love looking at the most recent posts with Landon and how much he has grown in just two and a half months!!

i hope to start getting on a normal eating/exercising schedule on Tuesday, September 4th. the reason i am waiting until then is for a couple of reasons... first reason. labor day picnics will be all over. second reason. summer picnics in general will be over. third reason. i haven't shared much yet, but will do soon, but i have been going through some health issues and hoping everything will be okay by then.

so even though i am taking a year off from teaching, i am still going to make a couple new school year resolutions.

1. start taking care of this post pregnancy body.
2. try to blog every day.

i want to blog more so i have a little history of my little guy growing up. it goes SO fast and i want to try to capture as much as i can.

speaking of capture... we now have a roller. i thought it was a fluke but he totally did it four times in one day. and then did it the next day too!!

what not to wear.

i have hit a wall on the weight loss. one of the big reasons is because i just love to eat right now. i love food. a lot. i have fluctuated up and down within five pounds for about six weeks. and i am realizing i need to make a decision.

i should either start busting my butt to fit back in my old size 8 clothes...or accept where i am right now and start buying a new wardrobe. i mean, don't get me wrong, i love maternity clothes but i know there will be a time that i will need to put them to rest.

for now, i will accept where i am...i need to head to the store and buy some new outfits that fit this new body. i am hoping not to be this weight forever but i need to start treating this new body different. i need to try to make it look as good i can get it. i know it will take me a while to lose this weight... that's just my body and my metabolism... so i might as well embrace it until i do.

LANDON UPDATE:

No news on his hearing... we are still not sure how much he can hear... but we are hoping he hears more than we think he does. his next appointment with the Ears, Nose and Throat doctor is on October 11th...

We head to CHOP for a followup on his broken clavicle on Monday... and while we are there, the Physical Therapist referred us to get a little helmet for our little guy's head. i am sure we will have to go through some testing to see if he qualifies but we might as well keep on top of it all.

He is now able to turn his head to the left around 60-70 degrees.  i asked the PT last week how long we will be dealing with this torticollis... she said he has a very severe case of it, and she is thinking by the time he is five months.

his reflux is doing much better too! he has been such a happy baby since we started the medicine!

oh and our little chunker weighs in at 13.9 pounds (81st percentile) and 24.5 inches (89th percentile)... he is getting so big... and really LONG! 

he is loving his gym, books and starring at the television... he also enjoys tummy time!! 

nine hour stretch.

before i update the information from the doctors visit today... i wanted to share a big milestone... Landon slept 9 HOURS straight last night. he went down for his usual bedtime of 8... and i of course woke up at 2 ready to feed him... but he slept. i woke up at 3 ready to feed him... but he slept. i woke up at 4 ready to feed him... but he slept. i finally heard him cry for a feeding around 5 and was so shocked that i woke tim up to share the news!

luckily we were all rested for the doctors appointment. the doctor looked in his little ears...which landon HATED! he face turned as red as an apple. he was so angry! turns out, our little guy has a good amount of fluid in his ears. this fluid is hindering his hearing but the doctor told us that it is not to the point that we are seeing in the audiology test results... so we are not getting our hopes up too much. 

so what do we do now? we wait. and we wait. and we wait.  we wait two months to see if the fluid goes away. if it does, we reassess his hearing. if it doesn't... our little guy will be getting tubes and then we reassess his hearing.

it's a waiting game. in my mind, i want to get the little guy hearing aids and get those ears listening. but i am learning it is a process... and it looks like it may be a long one. i keep praying that God will open up those ears... that once the fluid dries up, he will be able to hear. 

and i will leave this post with a picture of landon. he is really getting interested in his toys... i LOVE seeing him grow and change every day!

a gift.

tomorrow is the day i have been waiting three and a half weeks for... the day we might get some answers on landon's hearing loss. i have been on a roller coaster ride over the past eight weeks. we started our journey with jaundice. then came the broken clavicle. from there we were told about the torticollis. following the torticollis, we were informed about his hearing loss. and finally stopping where we are now at reflux.

i have been doing the whole feeling sorry for myself thing. ALOT. i keep questioning why landon was born with so many problems and why other people have babies born healthy. why couldn't i enjoy my baby's first months of life and not be stressed during them...i question if there will ever be a time when we won't have 2-3 doctor and physical therapist appointments scheduled in a week. i just want to have a normal full week with him.

i am trying REALLY hard to not think negative thoughts about whether there is more wrong with my little guy. hoping tomorrows appointment gives us answers and comforts our little family. i think we are all ready to get off this roller coaster. and ride something a little smoother.

the other day i was watching landon sleep in his crib... and the word "gift" came out of nowhere into my head. he is a gift. his hearing loss could very well be a gift that we don't quite understand why yet.

Happy Christening Day!

a quiet week.

it took eight weeks. but landon and i have finally had a quiet week. we only had one doctors appointment and one Physical Therapy session. we enjoyed the days by meeting friends and relaxing at home. we hit just a minor bump this week with our little guy. he stopped taking bottles and screamed through almost everyone of them for the past five days... we took him to the doctors, and it is confirmed he has reflux. doctor said it is very common for babies to get this with torticollis.

we really enjoyed our week. we were able to visit friends, relax and get graduate work done. landon hit a few milestones this week... he is grabbing and holding on to toys. and my mom and i teared up when he lifted his head SUPER high for about a minute during tummy time yesterday! we love seeing that little neck get stronger!

i missed him lifting his head SUPER high...i think he got tired by the time i had my video ready,  but you can see his eyes in this video!