it's time...

but why haven't i done anything about it... i am talking about eating healthy and exercising. i thought it would be easy. i thought i would look at my "oh so gross" body and get moving. but that just isn't the case... why not? i look in the mirror. i see pictures. i look at my reflection in shopping store windows. i am the biggest i have ever been in my WHOLE life. and yet, i have done NOTHING to change it.

instead, i eat oreos. instead i eat chips... instead i eat junk. in my head i am thinking i can eat more calories since i am bigger. i know that's not true. i am just going to get heavier!

on sunday, i went to a BEAUTIFUL wedding shower. the attire was black and white. my bedroom floor was covered in black and white clothes. i was heart broken when i had the perfect dress to wear but realized i was no longer a size 8 and couldn't fit in it. i couldn't even get it over my head. seriously. i ended up wearing black maternity pants and shirt.

landon's baptism is on sunday. mom says "wear that cute black maternity dress you wore for Jacob and Charlie's baptism"... GREAT idea mom! but then i realized... that dress is a tighter dress because tight dresses look cute on a baby bump. but a tight dress is definitely not flattering on a pouch.

(Cousins Charlie and Jacob with Landon!)

so what am i going to do about all this... i know! i should plan healthy lunches and dinners. i know! i should exercise when landon is napping. I know! i should go grocery shopping for lots of fruits and veggies. I know exactly how to lose weight... i just don't know when i will be feeling ready to start.