body image.

i just watched a video on the Today Show about women and their body image. a high percent of women think negative thoughts about their bodies 13 times a day... that is at least one time every waking hour!

and i am guilty of this. not sure where it came from... but weight has ALWAYS been an issue and on my mind since i was a child. the video mentioned how you were raised could be a factor in your body image... if your mother had negative body image, it would rub off on their children. my mom NEVER said a negative thing about herself... at least not with me around. and she NEVER EVER said a negative thing about me...she was quite the opposite.

where did it come from? the lady said, that women think bad thoughts about themselves to distract themselves from other issues... what other issues? i know i have been down and out with tim gone... and i have definitely been more down on my body since he has been away... maybe that could be a issue. missing tim.

in my younger years... i was always stressed about running and racing and being fast. boom! negative thoughts about my body... i was always obsessed with my body as a runner growing up... i ran competively for 16 years...running against tiny, built runners... and there i was running.. sticking out on the track... sticking out on the course... the big girl (or so i thought)

bottom line. yes i am always obsessed with my weight. yes. i am on a constant roller coaster with my body. one minute i love it. the next minute i hate it. but could it be that i target myself to distract myself from other issues going on... i'm missing tim, but is it worth beating myself up over? i am my worst critic.