Halfway

back in april i decided to start moving my body for the first time in a LONG time. i set the goal of doing the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred Challenge every day in May. because of many of you joining me, i was able to get myself exercising for fifteen days already!

fifteen days doesn't sound like much... but it is a big milestone here. i wanted to quit at least three times already. the first time was before day 1 even started. i didn't even want to begin working out. the second time was after day 5. i was miserable and feeling gross with myself on a friday night. and the third time was right before day 8. this was when i had to stop exercising for three days because of both nolan and me getting pretty sick. i thought i should just quit because i wanted to do 30 days straight during the month of may and now the streak was over. 

after the third time of wanting to quit, i realized something about myself. i am a perfectionist. i wanted to quit the third time because i didn't meet the "goal" of  30 days consecutively. it was no longer going to be followed perfectly. but that was a really difficult goal to even set for myself. for someone who hadn't moved a muscle in years. for someone who is busy being a wife. being a mom. being a teacher.

i think this is why it has taken me so long to drop all my weight. it was always all or nothing. i have gone on diets off and on over the past five years. i even tried cutting sugar this time last year... but i ate 1 donut on vacation and thought... well... that's it. might as well have another donut... and another.. and hence falling off the wagon. if i don't do it perfectly, i give up.  and pretty quickly.

giving up fun sugar for 100 days was a tough goal to achieve. it got easier as time went on and as more and more people knew i was doing it. i had so much support around me. the perfectionist in me didn't want to let myself down!  i didn't want to feel embarrassed by not succeeding. sometimes setting goals is a great thing... but sometimes they can disappoint too... especially when you set them a little to high... especially when you are a perfectionist and don't want to fail. 

i have learned now to share my goals with others. to let them know if i fail. or if i succeed. this motivates me to keep moving forward even when i feel defeated and want to quit. it is so much better to have friends along the way. i hope i continue to motivate you like you are all motivating me.